Shop Talk

Am I the only one who is tempted to direct the truly abusive, ignorant, jack@ss customers here to phonescoops's Shop Talk section so they can truly understand that we all think people like them are inbred morons who are a waste of organic matter?

I think it would be hillarious.... 😁

Ok so I had this woman call in wanting to get her son a phone. Then she informs me that he is SEVEN! 😳 Some punk ass kindergarden student was messing with at school, so she is going to get him a cell phone so that he can call her whenever he needs to. He's SEVEN! 😳 WTF does a seven year old kid need a cell for? Where the funk are the teachers? Its ok though becuase she had a phone when she was 12, and that aint no big deal for a kid to have a cell phone.

Hey wait a minute cells have only really been around for 10 years or so that means she aut to be 22-25ish right. And her son is 7 22-25 - 7 = 15-18. Some how this does not surprise me much. 😕

So I've got to vent because if I don't yell I'll cry.

This guy was a total assmunch.

He bought the goddamn case at a store... it broke. He went to the store and the bastards at the store (And whoever you are, I hope you little idiots die in a pool of your on vomit!) told him to call us and we could get him an exchange.

It DOES NOT #$)(&^%(*& WORK THAT WAY YOU WORTHLESS MENTAL DEFECTIVES!

If you didn't buy the gods all blessed thing from us we have ABSOLUTLY NO RECORD... none, zilch, ZERO of the transaction. We can't exchange ANYTHING because as far as our computer is concerned there is NOTHING THERE TO EXCHANGE!

Now the R-Tard is mad because the store gave him bad information and apparently this isn't the first time the stor...
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Ok, so I was at the breaking point last night, after being crossed into a department I'm not really trained for all day. I was cranky, tired, and sick of the crap people pull... then this call came in.

What she said and what I think actually took place are a little different.

What she said was that she ordered a car charger (for her Razack, this is the same woman) and had it billed to her account but asked us to ship to a different address... which we can't do. She says we said we would (we can't.)

What I think happened was her HUSBAND called to place the order and got it wrong, but either way I offered to pull the call, not that it will do even a little good.

Well she's on vacation in Georgia and will be for the next month (Wh...
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ok... so... i work here i have no choice but to park my car here... im tired of getting fliers put on my car by little 16 year old kids making a 1.50 an hour to basically litter...

today i made a sign informing people that if they put fliers on my car i will trow water baloons at them...

sure enough... johnny saggypants teenager comes along about an hour later with his little bundle of fliers... reads the sign... and proceeds to place about ten fliers on my car... of course in this amount of time i went to the back... accessed my surplus of waterbaloons... grabbed three and headed out...

when JST turns around very f'n pissed sprint lead is right behind him... armed...

m - take em off

jspt - no

m - *throws "warning shot" at...
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Me: Are you still using the LG L1400?

Cust: I don't know, it has bluetooth.

Me: 😳

How is that going to help me figure out which phone she is using? These people are killing me.

So I have been here since 10 and work til 8 and I have only seen a couple of customers, granted they did buy something but I am used to being in a mall store where you always have someone to talk to. And on top of being ultra bored, I am off tomorrow and start my week vacation after this weekend. Anyone else as ready to get out of here as much as I am.

"Do you have your order conformation number?"

"It's upstairs."

"Can I get that number please?"

"Oh you need it?"

Der, why did I ask for it? Just to make sure it existed? Yes I need it.

He sounded stoned anyways and the order wasn't even in his name. He hung up when I told him I had to speak with the person who's name is actually ON the order.

Just had a customer come in, EXTREMLEY concerned about the "radiation" her cell phone is giving off via bluetooth harming her nine year old...

So I explained to her the bands that bluetooth works on, and how her son is exposed to them every single day...

The funny part is, she was EXTREMLEY disturbed that TV and Radio waves are very similar to the "Dangerous Radiation" coming off her bluetooth headset.

I almost thought about telling her about the HUGE ball of fire that emits radiation all across the planet...even when you can't see it. but I figured if I gave her such a description of the sun, she might seriously damage her kid's life, happiness, and mental health.

This was suppossed to be here, not in the lounge:

So last night, I got off my off my iJob. I got into my BMW 530i, and drove to iMcDonalds. When I went to the drive thru, I forget what they have been iAdvertising. So I asked the iClerk, what they've been iPushing. She said I can't remember, but we do have iNuggets and the iBigMac. So I ordered a iBigMac with a i20 ounce iCoke. And went on my way. I couldn't help but notice an iCrash on the side of the iRoad next to me. I called my iWife and let her know that there are iProblems on the i-I80. She said iThanks, and she was iOkay.

After that, I got pulled over by some iState Troopers. I asked them what the iProblem was, because I was wearing my iH700 headset, and wasn't iSpeeding. He said...
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I have the Razack phone.

Well that's new.

I just sold a treo pouch to Jamal Mashburn for his krzr. 😳 Don't ask me why but it fit perfectly and he was in a rush to avoid being caught in the mall so he took it and ran.

This is my first "celebrity" sale; just curious what merchandise you may have sold to celebrities.

Verizon Wireless looks like they wmay be pulling the the plug on the 170k customers of Amp'd Mobile from accessing their 1xEV-DO network seeing how Amp'd owes Verizon Wireless a cool $33 million after Amp'd files Chapter 11. What amazes me is of the 170k Amp'd Mobile customers, only 50% of them actually aren't deadbeats and pay their bill. I can honestly say I hope Amp'd Mobile burns in the wireless Hell they deserve to for screwing over my former employer. They couldn't even may the $4.5 million payment Verizon requested about a month ago. I pray every night Amp'd Mobile is rug burned so raw once Verizon Wireless gets done with them that they'll pray for the proverbial 9mm to be put out of their wretched misery. 😁

Wow, the r-tards are coming out already and it's far far to early for this crap.

First... The order wasn't in his name, it's his mother's account.

Second... he called it a "Mega-gig memory chip." It's Gigabyte, and he said it was 4 'mega-gigs' which isn't even possible, they only go up to 2 right now.

He got mad because I, unlike the lackwit before me, follow policy and, incidental, the LAW and will only release information to the primary (the stupid little twit placed the order in mommy's name without speaking with her.)

I said, I'm sorry, it's considered fraud for me to release any information without speaking with the person who's name is on the order... so his response?

"Well then can I sue BigPink?"

"Well, no, since i...
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So she is calling to tell me that her Bluetooth headset is broken and she needs a new one.

I go over the options and prices.

She says a bunch of completely unintelligible stuff that I eventually decipher to mean she wants it replaced for free. "Isn't it under warranty?"

"Well yes, but you just told me it had been broken, like somebody busted off a piece right? The Warranty only covers defects, not physical damage after it's purchase."

And she says...

"Well I didn't break it."

This is why they keep us in padded cells.

2 really little... but extreemly annoying things that happen every day...

situation 1:

m - hi how can i help you

c - 555-555-5555

m - 😳
so you want me to look at your account?

c - smith, jane smith, 1234

m - 😳 (starts typing in login codes after being blindsided by information not yet needed)
what was that phone number agan?

c - i need a new phone...

m - 🤨 this is me killing you with my eyes...


situation 2

m - whats your phone number

c - 1234-56-7-89-0

m - im sorry can you repeat that my eyes just crossed.

format for speaking phone numbers ###-###-#### OR ###-##-##-## is also acceptable

format for spanish speaking custys still the same but it is acceptable to use tens places... dont use ...
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This just pisses me off twelve ways to Sunday. I was trained in Admin over a year ago... it's been nearly that long since I worked in that department and even then it was a partial-train, I don't know everything there is to know for that department.

SO STOP CROSSING ME YOU MORONS! I haven't got a freaking clue what I'm doing.

Baring that, make sure there is a resource over here to answer my 8 thousand questions instead of making me get up and RUN back to the other end of the building and pray that the one person I know and trust is not on a call so I can ask her, yet again, what I am supposed to be doing.

So I'm flying completely blind, I have no clue, and apparently I'm doing it wrong so now I'm getting e-mails from the sup types...
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ASMDAKSHFJAH!@JUSILEJFKLAJ!!!

😡 😡 😡 😡 😡 😡

First off, the lady stands behind me for who knows how long, and then finally says "helllooo"
So I turn around, smile and say how can I help you?
She says : I want you to look up my plan.
So I go to the computer, and log in, while she is spouting off the spelling of her last name, which I don't even need.
I finally get the last 4 of the social, and cell #. only to find out the account is not in her name at all.
So she asks me if she can upgrade, I say yes. BUT I would need your husband here because this account is in his name.

It goes like this

Her: Now, I want you to look at me. I manage the househould here, in hawaii, in sturgeon bay, in *a whole bunch of other pl...
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This crouton just called in, said "I just called and got put on hold and they hung up on me." then said "Hold on a second."

I've been holding five minutes.

I don't think he's coming back.

I'm just going to sit here until the line drops, he comes back, or my shift is over.

I've had it today.

First week back full time... not going so well.

Why is it that here we are on the 6th of June, and we're just NOW being notified via InfoCenter that a plan was discontinued the Middle of May???????? Do they think that maybe that's something we may need to know.....oh I don't know.......WHEN IT HAPPENS???????????? What kind of brilliance does it take to notify your agent locations of a change like that?!

Had the most foozed up account the other day. Girl comes in to add line on account. I ask girl for info, number, last 4 of SS#, etc. She verified the whole thing. So I began going over plans, pricing, etc... She came back in a couple days later. When I asked to see her ID (which we require to do any contracts) I noticed that it was her name onthe account, but yet she was only 16...
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