Shop Talk

🤨 so cust calls in mad she has a asl ok well she only been with us for 13 months good pay history called over to manual credit got her approved early no prom then she saids she cant reg for website tried to reg that for her got a error msgs tomany sub so called tech to put in a ticket than cust hung up called cust back she anwer then didnt say anything and hung up again called again left vsm i really hope i dont get a another stupid no survey for that, she was yelling at me about not being able to go the website and about the asl even though i got that approved for her 6 months early cust are retarded sometimes

Corporate employees are usually pretty cool to me, but the people they've got marooned on Phone Island are d-bags. I just had an argument with a rep about (of all things) how many days the cust had her phone. Yes, despite the memos, our calendars, and combined math skills, we could not agree which day is Day 1: the date of purchase, or the day after. So now a lead in Escalations and his District Manager are discussing it and I am sitting here all hot-faced because I'm so aggravated. "Do the math-" well, guess what, Guy? I did. I know there are 31 days in July, but if someone bought a phone on the 18th of last month, today (the 17th) is the last day for them to return that phone.

And that's just the worst I've had today. I also had a guy c...
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Just handled a port request from Metro. The rep said it was his name.

Haywood Jablowme

...yea right 🙄

Almost 😛

not at this job

It was at a restaurant that was inside a grocery store

coworker empties charred Smoker Chips into a cardboard box 🤨 WTF?

so i notice and pour some water over it thinking that was enough and go back to washing dishes

Washing dishes.. it was awesome no customers or nothing


Suddenly i hear WHOOSH! and see orange reflecting on the stainless steel back splash

He calls my name as i spin around and that small cardboard box is engulfed in flames towering taller that i am 😳

did i mention he had trapped himself between the flames and the wall?

So i have a choice between high power sprayer that would have pushed it into a rack full of cardboard boxes and gotten us out of work for the day ...
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I know we all have them, and in honor of my time almost being up in this location I'll compile a list of mine, along with what I think when someone asks me one of them. I'm sure some of these will carry over to my new location though. 🙄

1. "What do I have to do to get a phone?"
"Give me your ID so I can tell you how much of a deposit you'll have to pay."

2. "Do you have to have good credit to get a phone?"
See #1

3. "Can you check my credit?"
See #1

4. "Can you check to see if I can get a phone?"
See #1

5. "Can I ask you a question?"
"You just did." (Sometimes I actually say this.)

6. "What's your best plan?"
"It depends."

7. "What's your best phone?"
"It depends."

8. "What's your cheapest plan?"
"Well...
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Some idiot convinced her to have the plan changed from unlimited to 500 minutes, knowing that the woman was giving the phone to her teenage son who's roaming all alone while she returns home for a funeral.

He runs up over 1000 minutes in two days time after burning through those 500 minutes right away (it was a bad idea anyway, he was in the middle of the bill cycle), and so now her total account balance is beyond the credit limit.

She's already in an agitated emotional state, and when I have to tell here that there's precious little we can do without some payment from her to the account, she has a nervous breakdown right on the phone.

It's like, hey, I don't get paid to deal with this.

So I go get a sup.

Oh yeah, brilliant i...
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We sell the Powermat wireless charging system at our store and I just had a customer return one because she thought that she didn't have to plug it into the wall to make it work. I mean where do you expect the power to come from? Your ass?

` m=me c=customer

M: Thank you for calling blah, blah, blah..... How may I assist you today?

C: My husband had this bright idea to put his SIMs card in my phone when his
broke, He gots a new fone and now everytime someone calls him, my phone rings.

M: O.K. Do you mind if I place you on a brief hold? I'm going to call your phone
number. Tell me which phone rings.

*call her phone*

C: 👿 My husbands phone rang!

M: Ma'am, what did you do with your SIM card?

C: I puts it in the new phone.

M: 😳 Ma'am, you need to switch SIM cards with your husband.

C: Im gonna call back in 5 minutes if that dont work.

M: Trust me ma'am, that will work. 🙄

I failed a quality for this call today 😢

...will lose or damage their phone in the first year, according to our automated system.

😳 How do people do it? I've had only one phone mess up, which was my iPhone, and that wasn't any user error, it was a manufacturing problem. My warranty would've covered it, if my idiot stepdad hadn't dismantled it in an attempt to "fix" it.

I wonder if some people like to play catch with their phone, or go swimming with it or something.

someone runs in and says the sky is rotating above us 😳
we find out later they had issued a tornado warning for our part of town..no one felt the need to tell us

Someone got shot/killed in the parking lot and the callcenter went under lockdown..

what were your scariest times?

Customer X:I need to charge my phone with one of your chargers please.

Me: I'm sorry but all of our chargers are sealed and I am not allowed to take them out of the package unless you are purchasing it

Customer X:Well my charger broke and I just need to charge it.


Me: If you purchase a charger then you will have one now and in the future

Customer X:What is the charger?

Me: It's a micro usb charger and it is this one (showing the customer the charger)

Customer X:That's not the charger!

Me: Seriously? It's the charger

Customer X: But that's not the same charger

I wanted to stop and tell her that I have been working here for 2 years and say do you really think I don't know what charger goes with your phone? Really! ...
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stop saying it was a replacement order, stop giving me your tracking number from your previous order that has nothing to do with the order that was cancelled, when I tell you to contact the department that placed the order for you, you should probably listen to me and just shut your mouth. it is as simple as that.

a custy calling asking for directions to something....

I did not know that was in my job discription.



👿

Anyone have the number for T-Mobile UK? Not T-Mobile US, or Deutsche Telekom, but UK.

Thanks.

anyone have a questions for me 😁

I haven't seen any stories about nightmare customers today so you're either worn out or just don't care at this point.

If a customer wants to add lines to an account that they've had active for less than 13 months and they were only approved originally for let's say 2 lines, is there any possible way at all to push through the line request upgrade even though the account has been active for less than the 13 months necessary?

Thanks

why is it u guys are always givin out the wrong info to our asurion cx....and then u wanna tell us how to do our job... 😡 pls stop misguiding asurion cx....thanxs 😁

...and help to make all of us who stand in the line of fire a little more understanding.

I had a young kid in here just a minute ago, just super uneducated and asking the "dumbest" questions.

Why are they dumb questions? Is it because WE know the answers and THEY don't?

Here's the epiphany -

WE WORK IN THIS BUSINESS. We research and read articles and go to trainings and learn new things EVERY SINGLE DAY. These people...our customers...they DON'T. We're here to educate the uneducated. Yet, we hate them for being so "stupid".

Granted, some people just lack common sense, and that's very sad for that person and super frustrating for us.

My point is, we say customers are stupid, retarded, and any other synonym you can think o...
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I don't like that one, I want to go this song, then that song, then the other song.

Ah, shaddap! Manage your own tones yourself, kid. Learn what works and what doesn't. I ain't ya babysitter!