Shop Talk

A visitant has been practically laying on our counter for the last 15 minutes talking loudly and vomit-inducingly to his boo...he doesn't seem to be thinking about leaving anytime soon, despite my asking him repeatedly if he needs help and the subsequent dirty looks I've given him. Should I just walk over and hand him the windex and some paper towels?

I swear, customers have gotten together and plotted to make my last week the longest yet. Four shifts until freedom...

I'm standing behind my counter looking out my front window at my nice spacious parking lot. A giant SUV pulls in and, after 5 short attempts to park next to someone to be in the "front row," they decide to park a few spaces away (crooked and over the lines) She then gets out of the car, on her phone, and kids scatter into the parking lot like animals released into the wild. To innocent motorist almost got into an accident trying to avoid her maniac kids. I take a deep breath (here we go again)

These people call in with kids runnin everywhere. **** falling off shelves, sounds like ground zero in the background. And you got this stupid customer that decides to mumble ****. Then they get pissed when you ask them to repeat themselves. It makes me sooo mad, I want to pick the wings off butterflies in the park.

People who have their own picture for their phone's wallpaper, what do you guys think of them?

I personally know what to expect the minute I see that. Especially if it's a woman.

there is this dude in here going on about how we are going to hell because we sell bluetooths that heat up the brain by 4 degrees causing birth defects etc...all i asked is if he had any credible scientific sources and he swore that i was testing the hand of god right now 👀 🙄 . i just said "me and god are tight"......he said he will be back with the police.... 🙄 He could just be a social victim...

Alright, here it goes (long one):

Fat girl with extreme FUPA (fat upper ***** area) walks in. Comes up to me

C: i am here to pick up my replacement phone.
M: Ok, and whats your name?
C: Well you dont know who i am?
M: No ma'am, i dont. May i please have your name so i can get your phone?
C:**Huffs** well, its "name" (last name trails off so i cant hear it)
M: Im sorry i didnt catch your last name.
C: "NAME"
M: thank you (walk over get phone)
C: Well do we have to cancel our ringtone?
M: Well you dont have to cancel it, but you will lose it because the ringtone is stored in the other phone.
C: Well thats not what i was told! I pay for it every 90 days.
M: well is it a ring back tone? So when people call you they hear music? I...
(continues)

For some reason now when ever customers come in with a list my brain starts to shut down. I assume it because most lists go like this.

"Hi, I'm looking for a phone with *consults list* a loud ringer, a loud speaker, stereo bluetooth, mp3 player, a sturdy build, a long battery life, that can take abuse, and wont cost me a dime on my upgrade. What can you do for me?"

Of course they tend to be on some old $29.99 plan and swear features are from the devil. Then the best part comes when i tell them what they would be paying for such and such a phone.

this isnt really phone related but still funny. I run a kiosk in a grocery store.



I was walking from the breakroom on on end of kiosk, to the batthroom on the other end and when I approached the first end there was a guy asking the grocery employee about something, but he was blocking the whole aisle when his fat ass and a cart.

I wait about 15 seconds and he finally scoots to the left and I squeezed by and pushed his cart at most about 1-2 feet so I could get by. As I'm walking into the bathroom around the corner, I here...

M: Me
SH: ****head customer

SH: HEY, YOU MOVED MY CART!

M: Excuse me?

SH: You have no right moving my cart!

M: You were standing in the middle of the aisle, you were in the way, so I moved you...
(continues)

Jowl ridden old dude comes in with some questions about his account.

M
C

M- Hi how can i help you?
C- Robert Johnson, should have me in there.
M- I can look it up, can I get your phone number?
C- 555-555-5555
M- Ok, is this a home or cell number?
C- Home number I don't have a cell phone.
M- 😕 Okay, well then how can I help you.
C- Well i signed up with some channels with you about three years ago and want to know what I'm paying for?
M- I'm sorry sir but we don't offer television service.

Yep, thats my fun customer for the day. I ended up directing him to comcast.

me: ok, I would also recommend insurance for your phone. It's 3.99/mo and covers it being lost stolen or damaged.

customer: hmm, i dunno *looks at friend*

customers friend: yeah dude, you should get insurance. Smith got hooked up with Verizon yesterday and went home and dropped his Chocolate in the toilette.

🤣

Glad I knew what he was talking about!

What is it with this phone!?!?!?

Why is it that a two year old phone still gets more requests than phones that far out class it? Customers come in looking for a pink razor, I tell them i no longer have it but offer a V3xx for nearly the same price. Do they care about Mp3 players and 1.3mp cameras? No they ask if it comes in pink. I suppose that at this point all a manufacturer has to do to sell a device is offer it in a rediculous hot pink and it will sell. I say make the 6010 in hot pink and advertise the hell out of it at $50 on a two year agreement. It will sell. 🙄

So a customer of mine comes back into my store yesterday that I activated in November. He wants to pay his bill. I notice is bill was $197 with 2 lines on the FT 69.99. The culprit....overage.

I pay his bill and proceed to tell him that for $20 more a month, I can 2X his minutes, and prevent future overage.

He declines and asks abot adding a line to his existing account. Still not wanting to move up plans.

Jesus....$200 vs. $110? What gives? I guess he loves giving Cingular more money than he has to.

Will

Me: What's the name on the account

C: Motorola

Me: The name on your account, not your phone

C: I don't know. What do you mean?

Older lady comes in with a non working razor. Asks me to take a look at it to see why its not working. She claims she dropped it and the back fell off and it hasn't worked since. First thing i note is the big red sticker denoting water damage. Second thing is that not only is there no battery in the phone, she didn't even realize it was missing! 😳

I couldn't imagine what these people do to their cars. I'm sure mechanics get slough of ridiculous things. I had a guy once trade his truck in for a gas version of the same model because he kept putting gas into his diesel vehicle and had to repeatedly have it serviced as a result. Why do they call it Common Sense when its painfully apparent that there is nothing common place about sense...
(continues)

I would walk across the store and kick the other girl that works here right in her ugly face. She is listening to music and singing to it, LOUDLY. And to make it better there is a customer in our bosses office. Shut up, I know you think you are a fantastic singer (she talks about how she should go to AI because she could win, which I can guarantee she couldn't) but you aren't.
And that is one of the things that irritates more than anything else, singing along off key and sh*t. Mind you I am a totally sh*tty singer, but I embrace my crappiness and don't subject others to the noise I can make, but she doesn't feel the same way apparently. Makes me cringe.
To add to it, she is a crappy person to work with. Lazy and stupid.
I hope you enjoye...
(continues)

A visitant was looking at our blue tooths and asked me why one cost more than the other one. The more expensive one has a shorter battery life for talk and standby than the less expensive one. I told him that I didn't know why it was more expensive when the cheaper one does more.

He retorted, "I guess you're not much for customer service here."

That got me short, and I replied, "What do you mean?"

"You don't know much about your products but you sell them?"

"I don't make the products, but the more expensive one has a higher cost to it. I can't explain to you why it does, but it does."

"I'm certainly not buying anything here."

"You're entitled not to."

"Do you have a manager?"

"I am the manager."

"Do you have...
(continues)

we placed a tent outside the store, and still, no one comes in. this has got to be the worst month ever.

Am I the only location that charges all handsets before they are sold?

Does anyone else do this or know any place that does?

I absolutely love it when a customer comes in having problems doing something like pairing a bluetooth headset with a phone, and barely saying a word, I successfully pair the devices in less than a minute with no problem, hand the devices back to him and smile as he looks at me absolutely dumbfounded and ashamed.

One day im going to reach over, strangle a customer and place there head on a pole next to my kiosk with a sign saying " learnn to speak english and have some people skill " 😈 😈 😈

now time for the story

Me - M
Custy - C


M: Hi, how may i help you?

C: 2016955698

M: (mind you at this point, im pissed at these customers that come up to you and dont say nuttin but numbers) 2017789659

C: 😕 huh , wat was that?

M: My number 😎

C: 👀 ?

M: dont like it huh? 🤨

customer looks like they had brain collaspe and walks away 🤣 😈