Shop Talk

😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 😈 FU**%#G A$$HOLE??READ MY LAST POST 2.

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES

SUBJECT: SICK LEAVE POLICY

SICKNESS:
No excuses. We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof. We believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

AN OPERATION:
We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may need an operation. We believe that as long as you are an employee here, you will need all of whatever you have and should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are, and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for.

FUNERALS:
Other than your own: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for them, and we are sure that someone else can attend ...
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They put me in care yesterday. (this alone was more than enough to make me want to leave for the day. Only thing keeping me here was the air conditioning)

Customer calld in to check her minutes. She understands that she can do it online and that the systems are backdated by a couple of days. Me, being nice as pie for a change, walk her through finding where to check the minutes online, setting up an alert to let her know when she's about to go over and telling her that if she does go over, call by the end of the cycle to change the plan to the next highest. If she can't get to a computer, she is able to call into the IVR to check the minutes. She seemed pleased. Then she came with:

"You know, all the other companies will tell th...
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OK, just had this guy in looking for a phone for his son. I showed him the plans he was chacking out the 39.99.
on verizon 450 minutes, free nights and weekends, unlimited in.

This guy doesn't like the 450 cap and tells me he has unlimited minutes on at&t.

me: Wow you probably pay a lot for that
him: 39.99
Me: I am pretty sure that is unlimited mobile to mobile not unlimited everything
him:No I have special trucker plan, 39.99 unlimited minutes at anytime, nation wide no roaming or long distance, had it for 4 years now
Me: Well I urge you to contact them and check on that because it doesn't seem right, I have been doing this a long time and never came across any plan close to that, you may have misunderstood them or possibly been...
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just walk up to me and ask me what do they want. So I (being a smart a$$) said a blackberry pearl with a unlimited internet and messaging. They said okay, left a $500 deposit and bought it. I think they were high.

so, I posted this in the sprint forum, but I may have made enemies when I needlessly bashed sprint earlier this year.

I'm looking for a phone with good reception, decent battery life, no warranty issues, music isn't important, no motocrap.

any sprint reps wanna share knowledge?

how do you preform a hard rest on these devices?

I want to ask my customer these questions:

Why is it my problem that you don't wanna pay $35 for our verizon chocolate phone?

Why are you mad that I don't have any in stock?

Why are you mad that I can't charge it to your account and order it for you?

Why are you mad cause I am not familiar with the Verizon coroproate store locations?

Why are you mad I keep looking at my AT&T signs?

Okay so first to post in these forums and yes I am a tech from a major company (cough Sprint cough). So to begin with I would like to get this off my chest about Sprint customers. So you begin the call early in the evening and are wondering why you have been shuffled around from Customer Care rep to Tech service and then finally to adv. tech service. The wait time is 40 minutes so far... wth you had to wait on hold for 40 mins... what happened. Then finally I pick up the phone... "Sighhhhhhhhh" (I can almost taste the bad breath from the other end) you the Sprint customer start off the conversation with after my brief yet exciting introduction... "Do you know I had to wait on hold for you for 40 minutes?" is the next barrage from you... "No ...
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For instance, this lady comes to my kiosk asking if we can help her with her spring phone because she lost it. So I tried to pull up her account under various sprint activations and account look up names. Come to find out she is on a business account and she is whining and saying that her and her brothers phones are not under business accounts. We can't access it if its a business account. So we told her to go to an actual Sprint store which is pretty much a few miles down from the mall. Not too far. Told her to go there because it closes at 8pm Eastern Time.

Well I don't think she thought that my kiosk and the other kiosk right around the corner in the mall are the same company. We both say "Simply Wireless" on our light signs.

What I...
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i just smiled and nodded when he was done...

guy: what plans do you got?

me: well, do you have service now? what kind of plan do you have?

guy: i have 500 weekends and 450 daytime.

me: well i can give you unlimited nights and weekends.

guy: well of course that SOUNDS good, but how much?

me: $39.99

guy: yeah right i'm paying about $50.. and how much are the taxes?

me: about 18% or so but thats not set in stone.

guy: sure, what about activation?

me: its $35 for the first line.

guy: ah ha!! you see!? thats where you try to rip me off!

me: sir, i believe that with my plan you would be saving money.

guy: nope! i dont have to pay no activation fee! you guys all tryin to rip me off!

me:...
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I swear some times teaching adults to use cell phones is like teaching advance calculus to 3 year olds. A guy just called my store...

m=me
ih=inbred hick

m-Thanks for calling how can I help you?

ih-Yeah I'm in my motor home and I don't have my instructions and I'm havin trouble deleting a number off the phone you sold me? How do I delete it?

m-Ok what kind of phone did you get?

ih-um a Nuh-Koi-Yuh

m-Nokia?

ih-Yeah

m-Is it a flip phone?

ih-No

m-What model is it?

ih-A black one

m-(Shakes head)So were you dialing a number or saving a number to your phone book

ih-I'zall dialin the number and I entered it wrong and I jus wanna delete it.

m-Well I think I might know what phone you have, if you are dial...
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How do you store videos to a memory card so that you can watch them from the phone? I have an LG 8600.

All of you, you know who you are.

Why the hell do you still have jobs? Shouldn't you be living in a refrigerator box by now?

This system can absorb change. At all. They try and launch even the tiniest software change and the whole network crashed. Totally. We spent the better part of 10 hours on backup programs yesterday and today... it's five minutes between screens, half an hour just to get a single order done, computer times out halfway through...

And you morons wonder why we have such a long hold time and outrageous cue?

Here! Here's fifty cents, go buy a clue!

So I received a tip from an anonymous source that I'm in for it today. Apprently one of the supervisors has been spouting off at the mouth about the suggestion I made. Quite a few people are displeased and would like to see me either pinned or remove from my current position. I'm assuming the only people who want this are the people with gross feet...

Co Worker had this call.. Customer called in needing a replacement phone.. All I heard was her say

"I just told you I can not guarantee that you will receive the phone tomorrow. 1-2 business days! Sir! Stop cursing at me! Now Sir does that make any sense telling me that if you don't receive the phone tomorrow you are just going to send it back?"


haha.. So funny

Me: I do need your social security number to process this transaction.

Her: Why do you need that?

Me: (carrier) runs a credit check, and they submit your information to the credit bureau to do so.

Her: Oh. Do you ever have to deal with people getting their identity stolen?

Me: I've been working for (carrier) for 4 years, and I've never dealt with a case of stolen identity.

Her: Well, it's not (carrier) or the credit companies that I'm worried about.

Me: Then who is going to steal your identity?

Her: Most identity theft occurs from company employees.

Me: 🤨

Her: Not that I'm saying that YOU would steal my identity...

Me: 😕

Her: You seem like a reasonable person, but how do I know that othe...
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So.... I get this call, which starts off normal, if not annoying....

Me: Thank you for calling the death star may I help you?

C: Do you have any free phones?

Me: You may qualify for a free phone, are you looking for new service, or are you an existing death star customer?

C: Neither I just want a free phone

Me: 👿 👿 👿 I'm sorry, but we only provide phones for people who have service or want service.

C: My friend got a free phone at walmart, and you never made her get service

Me: Then go to Walmart, have a nice day!!


I HATE PEOPLE TODAY!!!

This blind man had his identity stolen. I really feel for him. He ask me for the number for corporate. I of course gave him the Customer Service Number, because as we all know they are the only ones who can deal with it. I get a call back saying that it was the wrong number. I knew I gave them the correct number but just apologize and told them the number once again. After doing that, I get another call. They are complaining that they would not look up the account because he doesn't have the cell phone number. So I tried to explain to him that our system doesn't allow that. We need an account number or a cell phone number. He then tells me my favorite line. WELL I WORKED FOR AT&T AND YES YOU CAN! He yells to speak to my supervisor. I change...
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Where you been. Vaca, quiet, or OMG not the "T" word. Get my e-mail? Just Y/N. 👀