Shop Talk

47 minutes of hell on the clock
47 minutes of hell

take one call
sit around in wrap

46 minutes of hell on the clock
46 minutes of hell




Sure it's not as catchy as 99 bottles of beer, but give me a break, it's saturday and I don't want to be here.

...sing and make various noises while you are on the phone with them? Sometimes you fight to ask them questions because they won't stop singing. Let me please do my work in quiet. Then after I dump you you can do what ever you want.

Custy: are your services going to follow the other companies and start to drop the plan prices for family smartphone plans?

... 😳 well let me go find my crystal ball.

Me: How may I help you today?

Cust: You ppl done send me a refurnished phone!

Me: (mute)*snicker snicker*(unmute) Are you having trouble with your replacement phone?

Cust: Yes you ppl cant get nothing right there and I demand a new phone not some old refurnished phone. It dont work.

Me: Well I do see this was an insurance replacement. I'll be more than happy to connect you with our provider to assist you in replacing your phone.

Cust: yeah cause I didnt want no refurnished phone so you ppl need to send me a new phone cause this is b*** s***.

Me: I understand just a moment and I'll connect you right away.

OMG really lol that was so funny.

Today is a test, experiment, or a cruel prank.

Here's a few calls I've gotten:

1. Dude, not happy with his new phones, not a problem at all as he's only had them a few weeks. Told him to take the phones back to the store he bought them from and he'd be able to exchange them.

Then he asked "why do I have to give them back?" This turned into a huge argument. Although he despised these 2 phones he got and swore up and down they were useless, he was still somehow emotionally attached to them.

2. "My gmail don't work no more". No amount of probing could get any more detail out of the caller and that statement was the only coherent sequence of words I was able to get out of the 10 minute call.

3. "If you guys get rid of assurion a...
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why do i get the numnuts?

i mean seriously!! you got the smart terms notification sir or ma'am, because you tried to be slick & take your sim card & put it into a blackberry or an iphone or an HTC or a palm or a jack, thinking i would never find out about it!!

now you've viewed your bill & discovered HEY!! how'd they know? ok, well they can't verify that i'm actually usin one...soooo, i'll just call in & get my irate voice on & scream & yell & tell them i'm not usin one & they'll have to give me my money back!!

no no no no no, we have a wonderful lil tool, that can ping your perty lil smartphone & tell us exactly what you're usin!! so lie to me plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!! i loooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvee hearin you cry!!



🤣 :lol...
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lady called in cuz phone wouldnt work, phone asked for puk , gave her the puk code but then it said sim failed, turns out there was no sim card in the phone.

Cust: My SIM isnt working

Me: ok ill be glad to assist you with that, did you ever remove the sim card?

Cust: yes, just for a moment

Me: If you dont mind me asking why ma'am?

Cust: hold on, turning on the phone.

*tick tock*

Cust: ok my sims working. bye! click

Can someone tell me how peoples phones keep ending up in the toilet 😕

What's your favorite callback tone you've heard on a customer's phone when you've called them back?

....I just saw your 47 minutes left on the clock song and I wanted to share with you a song that I made up for working at S****m last Christmas. It's sung to the tune of "12 days of Christmas." Here are the choruses.

On the 12th day of Christmas, S****m gave to me.....

12 web default
11 jax estores
10 stupid people
9 upset texters
8 screaming babies
7 idiot reps
6 spanish speakers
5 past due bills
4 t's & c's
3 butt dials
2 angry russians....
....and a guy who dropped his iphone from a treeeeeeeeeee.
😁

Yep. Thought she could just log out, and it would terminate her live connection immediately. Has a couple hundred in overages for going more than 6GB over the limit. Doesn't think it's fair because nobody told her how to use her computer the right way.

I'm tempted to ask "would you like us to cut your meat for you, too, ma'am?"

"I understand that you do not want the data plan (i get it!!) however, I really do not wish to argue with you about this (#!$*ing) data plan, either you get it, or you do not. It can not magically be waived for you!" 👿

ob la di... ob la da

Gettin laid off! Who's with me! 😉

Ok a lil fyi for all you challenged customers...third party vendor charges are not affiliated with your cell phone provider!!

Get it through your thick skull, this is something YOU did from your phone by puttin in your cell phone number you accepted the charge. Therefore, because you are the brilliant person that you are & you put in that nifty lil number of yours, we are REQUIRED to list it on your bill because you accepted the charge with your phone number.


YES!! YES YOU DID DO IT....you went on facebook, myspace, twitter or heck even monster.com, has these lil disclaimers in fine print which you negelect to read like your bill and your contract & you went weeee...isn't this a cute lil quiz (what's hilarious is you customers that t...
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Call comes in (I hate it when that happens), lady goes off about how she's in roaming and wants out. I ask what kind of phone she has. She says it's a 'Sprint, what's that called, a cordless phone!

(facepalm)

Pull up the account, it's an ancient $39.99 plan local only with 400 minutes and roaming at 69 cents a minute.

Offered to move her to Talk 450, which is the same price, more minutes (50), M2M and no roaming charges... since she had $104+ pending in roaming...

"NO JUST FIX MY ROAMING !@#$ !"

I say, "OK then. Press Menu..."

Call drops.

CDMA... it's a new kind of stupid.

I had the dumbest question this guy asked me do we test our phones before we send them out?
I wanted to say h3ll no if the phones broken in 50 pieces we just pack it up put it in the box and send it right out to you! 🤨 Thank god im off for two days I cant stand people anymore!

Anybody else sick of call centers changing policy and rules all the freakin time?

i got called a golden nugget today 🤣 ummmm & that differs from a brown nugger how? 😳

Please stop calling wanting me to upgrade your phone if u have a past due balance. Pay your bill then worry about getting a new phone.
Thank you