Shop Talk
Dear Mr. Customer
Dear Mr. Customer,
I don't know why your phone isn't working. Is it because your child currently has your phone in her mouth?
Dear Mr. Customer,
I believe you're opening a fraud account. Why? Because you turned to your friend and asked him what YOUR social is.
Dear Mr. Customer,
When I graduated (a short time ago) we learned proper grammer. The following words do not fall into that catergory; ain't, wanna, gots to, broked, ya'lls, and a few words that I do not dare to repeat.
Dear Mr. Customer,
You've gone over your minutes. No, it's not my fault, you were in here last week and asked me to move you to the smallest plan to save you money. I explained your average usage and you said, "No problem, my babies mama gots me another phone wit...
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I don't know why your phone isn't working. Is it because your child currently has your phone in her mouth?
Dear Mr. Customer,
I believe you're opening a fraud account. Why? Because you turned to your friend and asked him what YOUR social is.
Dear Mr. Customer,
When I graduated (a short time ago) we learned proper grammer. The following words do not fall into that catergory; ain't, wanna, gots to, broked, ya'lls, and a few words that I do not dare to repeat.
Dear Mr. Customer,
You've gone over your minutes. No, it's not my fault, you were in here last week and asked me to move you to the smallest plan to save you money. I explained your average usage and you said, "No problem, my babies mama gots me another phone wit...
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Naaaaaaaaaaahhhh, this is too much fun!
Dear Mr. Customer,
Your phone is not cutting itself on and making calls while you are sleeping.
Dear Mr. Customer,
I didn't send those text messages to your mistress and forget to delete them from your sent box........you did.
Dear Mr. Customer,
I have access to see exactly where you are (or where your phone is) so you can't report it stolen because you just made a call to an 800 dating line and you don't want your fiancee to find out about it and can you.
Dear Ms. Customer,
I understand that you were living in a area that was covered by &*(^%$ Wireless when you started your service four years ago, but you moved to a place that includes the word route in the address, and then on top o...
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Dear Mr. Customer,
Your phone is not cutting itself on and making calls while you are sleeping.
Dear Mr. Customer,
I didn't send those text messages to your mistress and forget to delete them from your sent box........you did.
Dear Mr. Customer,
I have access to see exactly where you are (or where your phone is) so you can't report it stolen because you just made a call to an 800 dating line and you don't want your fiancee to find out about it and can you.
Dear Ms. Customer,
I understand that you were living in a area that was covered by &*(^%$ Wireless when you started your service four years ago, but you moved to a place that includes the word route in the address, and then on top o...
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Dear Mr. Customer,
I understand you "pay your bills every month" too bad you're behind a month and they keep shutting you off.
Dear Mr. Customer,
Swearing that your phone has never been near water does not mean I can't see a piece of red litmus paper. And no, it did not come out of the box like that.
Dear Mr. Customer,
Your $39.99 plan with your %20 service discount does not qualify you as a valued customer.
Dear Mr. Customer,
Having service with us for 14 months does not make you a "long time customer"
Dear Mr. Customer,
Dropping your phone in the toilet does not qualify you to get any phone you want for free.
Dear Mr. Customer,
No you cannot take insurance out on a phone that is already broken. If everyth...
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I understand you "pay your bills every month" too bad you're behind a month and they keep shutting you off.
Dear Mr. Customer,
Swearing that your phone has never been near water does not mean I can't see a piece of red litmus paper. And no, it did not come out of the box like that.
Dear Mr. Customer,
Your $39.99 plan with your %20 service discount does not qualify you as a valued customer.
Dear Mr. Customer,
Having service with us for 14 months does not make you a "long time customer"
Dear Mr. Customer,
Dropping your phone in the toilet does not qualify you to get any phone you want for free.
Dear Mr. Customer,
No you cannot take insurance out on a phone that is already broken. If everyth...
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Blumpelstiltskin said:
Dear Mr. Customer,
Your 8 month old baby is screaming bloody murder because you left him alone at my desk. Please attend to him... and while you're at it, give him a GED and teach him to say "would you like fries with that?"
that was amazing.
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Silently hovering about and reading the threads...this one I couldn't leave alone, though. Especially once I read your additions to the list - classic. How's life treating you?
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Doing well - I thought you drowned in your stained glass.
I'm going to florida in 7 days and I'm PUMPED.
I'm going to florida in 7 days and I'm PUMPED.
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Nah, fortunately I've managed to stay alive despite cutting my fingers to shreds. I guess that's what you'd call an occupational hazard.
Florida?! Lucky! What's the occasion?
Florida?! Lucky! What's the occasion?
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cellsellphones said:
Dear Mr. Customer,
When I graduated (a short time ago) we learned proper grammer.
Ha ha ha ha ha
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Dear Mr. Customer
its nice to see you using your unemploymet visa card,to purchase our most expensive phone.
its nice to see you using your unemploymet visa card,to purchase our most expensive phone.
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Aye, it reminds me of this classic internet photo:
http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/funnypictures/ig/ ... »
http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/funnypictures/ig/ ... »
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Dear Mr. Customer:
"I didn't get my bill in the mail" is not a valid excuse for not paying. You know there is a monthly charge, and you continue to use your phone. If the postal service screws up, it does not negate your responsiblity to pay for what you get.
Dear Mr. Customer:
News Flash: My manager will not care about your whining any more than I do. I'll get them at your request, but only because they get paid more than I do to listen to you complain, and we can laugh about it later.
Dear Mr. Customer:
Yes, liquor would fall under the catagory of "liquid damage".
Dear Mr. Customer:
We are not a babysitting service. If you can't keep your kids under control, leave them at home. If you allow them to run rampant and de...
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"I didn't get my bill in the mail" is not a valid excuse for not paying. You know there is a monthly charge, and you continue to use your phone. If the postal service screws up, it does not negate your responsiblity to pay for what you get.
Dear Mr. Customer:
News Flash: My manager will not care about your whining any more than I do. I'll get them at your request, but only because they get paid more than I do to listen to you complain, and we can laugh about it later.
Dear Mr. Customer:
Yes, liquor would fall under the catagory of "liquid damage".
Dear Mr. Customer:
We are not a babysitting service. If you can't keep your kids under control, leave them at home. If you allow them to run rampant and de...
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StarryNight said:
News Flash: My manager will not care about your whining any more than I do. I'll get them at your request, but only because they get paid more than I do to listen to you complain, and we can laugh about it later.
I feel bad for my manager, as they still get all the BS, but make less $$ than I do.....
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Dear Mr. Customer:
No, your broken/smashed/run over/sopping wet phone does not fall under the definition of "manufacturer's defects". You're the defective one.
That's my favorite one. I like the added "you're the defective one." Awesome!
No, your broken/smashed/run over/sopping wet phone does not fall under the definition of "manufacturer's defects". You're the defective one.
That's my favorite one. I like the added "you're the defective one." Awesome!
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Dear Mr. Customer,
I'm sorry, but you are not the account holder - therefore I really can't activate a phone under this account nor can I upgrade the current contract.
Dear MRS Customer,
I am not scared of what you husband might say, so go ahead and call him. I'm 6'1 220.. I could probably kick his @$$.
I'm sorry, but you are not the account holder - therefore I really can't activate a phone under this account nor can I upgrade the current contract.
Dear MRS Customer,
I am not scared of what you husband might say, so go ahead and call him. I'm 6'1 220.. I could probably kick his @$$.
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Blumpelstiltskin said:
Dear MRS Customer,
I am not scared of what you husband might say, so go ahead and call him. I'm 6'1 220.. I could probably kick his @$$.
...and if given the opportunity, would gladly do so.
😁
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Dear. Mr./Mrs. customer:
Failure to adhere to the afore mentioned items and many of those to follow will result in you being forced into a blumpkin. Ok, well not the mr custys.
That is all
Failure to adhere to the afore mentioned items and many of those to follow will result in you being forced into a blumpkin. Ok, well not the mr custys.
That is all
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Dear Mr. Customer,
It amazes me that you can pay $200 a month for your cell phone bill, but you don't have any teeth. Even if your on welfare, the government will pay for you to get your teeth cleaned. It's funny how you set your priorities.
It amazes me that you can pay $200 a month for your cell phone bill, but you don't have any teeth. Even if your on welfare, the government will pay for you to get your teeth cleaned. It's funny how you set your priorities.
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Dear Mr. Customer,
If you are going to get your wife massive implants I am going to stare at them the entire time we talk whether your like it or not.
Dear Ms. Customer,
You just told me you are a stripper and now you want me to waste my time running your credit?
Dear Mr. Customer,
Maybe your keep dropping calls in your house because your house in a tin trailer and you wear aluminum foil as a hat!
If you are going to get your wife massive implants I am going to stare at them the entire time we talk whether your like it or not.
Dear Ms. Customer,
You just told me you are a stripper and now you want me to waste my time running your credit?
Dear Mr. Customer,
Maybe your keep dropping calls in your house because your house in a tin trailer and you wear aluminum foil as a hat!
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Cellfoneslinger said:
Dear Mr. Customer,
Maybe your keep dropping calls in your house because your house in a tin trailer and you wear aluminum foil as a hat!
Awesome!
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dear mr customer,
i dont care why your only putting $5.20 on your account, just give me the damn money and get out, cause i know i will see your a$$ tomorrow telling me another sob story about why your phone is off.i already know why....
cause you paid $5.20 on it!!!
i dont care why your only putting $5.20 on your account, just give me the damn money and get out, cause i know i will see your a$$ tomorrow telling me another sob story about why your phone is off.i already know why....
cause you paid $5.20 on it!!!
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Dear Customer,
I am sorry you bought your phone at walmart and they told you there was no deductable on your insurance. I am sorry you went back to them and they told you to go to the corporate store because they would just give you a new phone.
I am sorry you bought your phone at walmart and they told you there was no deductable on your insurance. I am sorry you went back to them and they told you to go to the corporate store because they would just give you a new phone.
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dear mr. customer,
i am sorry you had (carrier) 3 years ago and you have an outstanding bill but no they will not let you get another phone and make payments on that outstanding balance.
dear mr. customer,
please don't be mad at me or anyone else when your credit sux and you have a high deposit...last time i checked i didn't own anything in your name and owe money on it.thanks
dear mr. customer,
i'm sorry i can't tap into you wife or husbands phone and see who they are calling or put some james bond gps on the handset because you don't trust them...just break up or divorce
i am sorry you had (carrier) 3 years ago and you have an outstanding bill but no they will not let you get another phone and make payments on that outstanding balance.
dear mr. customer,
please don't be mad at me or anyone else when your credit sux and you have a high deposit...last time i checked i didn't own anything in your name and owe money on it.thanks
dear mr. customer,
i'm sorry i can't tap into you wife or husbands phone and see who they are calling or put some james bond gps on the handset because you don't trust them...just break up or divorce
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No doubt!! Walmart should be banned from selling phones all together! The amount of problems that stem from that hellhole heavily outway the solutions, to any problem! When some pimple faced kid, who is hungover, hates his job with a passion, and could give two-shi*ts about what happens to you after you leave! (Be prepared to be rushed, cause he has a break coming up, and he HAS to have a smoke before he has to unstock the two pallets of HALO 3 that just came in).They traded one problem for another when switching from Radio Shack to Wally World.
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dont come into the store walking towards me while you still 20 feet away calling off numbers. i am going to pretend i didnt hear you and make you repeat it anyway. 😁
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Dear Mr. Customer,
no we are not putting data charges on your bill. no we are not using your minutes. no we are not sending all your text messages. and no we are not lying to you when were saying that were not doing all this. deal with the fact that you cant get credit for it, even though you thought you could. or deal with the fact that your "precious" 12 y/o child DOES know how to access the internet and send texts. and THEY are the one racking up your $500 phone bill. just deal with it, seriously.
no we are not putting data charges on your bill. no we are not using your minutes. no we are not sending all your text messages. and no we are not lying to you when were saying that were not doing all this. deal with the fact that you cant get credit for it, even though you thought you could. or deal with the fact that your "precious" 12 y/o child DOES know how to access the internet and send texts. and THEY are the one racking up your $500 phone bill. just deal with it, seriously.
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Dear Mr. Customer,
I gave you 3 choices. A,B, or C on how to replace your phone. Just because you don't like them, doesn't mean you get another option.
Dear Mr. Customer,
No, I won't take you seriously if you keep staring at my boobs.
Dear Mr. Customer,
Just because you are an idiot, doesn't make me one. I don't need a sign to tell me that if I take my phone with me into the water park to take pictures, it is not going to work.
Dear Mr. Customer,
Why would I want to go out with you? You got a Treo on prepaid.
Dear Mr. Customer,
You say that you can't pay a $300 deposit, but you can buy a 400 dollar phone to use on a prepaid account.
Dear Mr. Customer,
I don't care if you are angry I don't want your kids stic...
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I gave you 3 choices. A,B, or C on how to replace your phone. Just because you don't like them, doesn't mean you get another option.
Dear Mr. Customer,
No, I won't take you seriously if you keep staring at my boobs.
Dear Mr. Customer,
Just because you are an idiot, doesn't make me one. I don't need a sign to tell me that if I take my phone with me into the water park to take pictures, it is not going to work.
Dear Mr. Customer,
Why would I want to go out with you? You got a Treo on prepaid.
Dear Mr. Customer,
You say that you can't pay a $300 deposit, but you can buy a 400 dollar phone to use on a prepaid account.
Dear Mr. Customer,
I don't care if you are angry I don't want your kids stic...
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mooiscoow said:...
Dear Mr. Customer,
No, I won't take you seriously if you keep staring at my boobs.
Dear Mr. Customer,
You say that you can't pay a $300 deposit, but you can buy a 400 dollar phone to use on a prepaid account.
Dear Mr. Customer,
I am not Goodwill, the Flea market, or wal-mart. I don't give stuff to you because you consider yourself poor, even though you are looking at a Pearl. I don't trade or bargian because my prices DON'T change. I don't match prices. My prices are mine. If you want that type of service, then go to any of the places listed above.
Dear Mr. Customer,
If I believed in reincarnation, I would wish to be reincarnated into a book, so I would never have to see y
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Dear Mr. Customer:
You have to insert the plug in all the way for your phone to charge.
You have to insert the plug in all the way for your phone to charge.
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Dear Mr./Mrs./Ms. Customer
Don't get upset with me or give me mean looks because I don't speak Spanish. 😲
Don't get upset with me or give me mean looks because I don't speak Spanish. 😲
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Dear Mr Customer
You have to hold the power key down for your phone to come on. Oh you dont know what the power key is? READ THE MANUAL.
You have to hold the power key down for your phone to come on. Oh you dont know what the power key is? READ THE MANUAL.
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