Kind of Customers:
My favourite is
The Recapper: after you recap what you are selling them they recap everything you just said...
it's like you just listened to me!! Oh wow... I feel honoured...
then they biotch about how long they have been on the phone with me.
Kind of Callcenter Agents:
But who is Phone?
This job is killing me...
Before starting this job, I had never missed a day of work, come hell or high water I had had perfect attendance. I also had gone years without stomach problems. I had allergies and a cold or two that I toughed out but never any other problems. I have now missed three, all stomach related, the most recent one being a severe pain that I had to go to the E.R. to make go away. I was given some medicine, as it was not appendicitis or anything like that, thank god. Before that it was other things, but I still cannot get through a day at work without some sort of reflux and/or nausea, medicine or not. Onc...
AD more discussions below...
Best customer experience?
A few days ago I had the pleasure of helping this really nice gentleman. He was so sweet that I was willing to bend over backwards to help him despite the fact that he didnt buy his original stuff from me. He came in very unassuming and smiled the whole time.
My Watchful Eye
Did you peons think I turned a blind eye? Alas, for that has not been the case.
Thank you to those whose ideas that were not nurtured or followed through with that have turned me a profit simply by minor diligence.
You have made me stronger than ever with your weakness!
The Age of Captainplooky dawns again!
Ps. To those who don't know or recall... be scared & forewarned. My previous posts are worth reading & dare I say prophetic. Behold the time of reckoning approaches.
I'm hearing this too much
I have heard it so much lately I barely open my mouth to give a response anymore.
Dear magenta reps
So please stop!
Twix and chex mix
Experienced T-Mobile Reps.. a little help
Suspended AKA Vacation
so ive been a temp here
Phonetic alphabet of my cubical items
B: ball of rubber bands
C: Captain Underpants books
D: Dude Love clock
E: Empty jar of nuts
F: Frank N Furter Action Figure
G: Gong (thats a fun one)
H: Hello Kitty Pin Cushion
I: Indian headdress (inappropriate thanksgiving attire, apparently)
J: Jalapenos in a can from 2001 (seeing how long I can keep them)
K: Killing Joke Graphic Novel
L: lemonaide (no idea where it came from but its just a can of lemonaide)
M: Monthy Python and the Holy Grail Script
N: nun-chuk (its a mini catapult that throws plastic nuns)
O: Oscar the grouch stuffed animal
P: Pokemon Yellow
Q: Queen greatest hits CD
R: Recorder (the musical kind)
S: Scuba Steve (yes, From Big Daddy)
T: Tardis Nitelight
U: Unhinged &Unglued MTG...
getting Shop Talk back to its roots
Cmr: Hi, I know I dont have coverage, but i need to file a claim
me: Sir, we can not file claims for you if you have no coverage
Cmr: fine you con artist (hears cmr speaking to carrier rep in the background)
Cmr: ok i have insurance now file my claim
Me: ok.....may I ask when your phn was damaged, lost, or stolen
Cmr: yeah it was about 3 weeks ago
Me: (continues with claim as usual) ok sir it looks like your claim is not covered
Cmr: WHY NOT THIS D@MN TIME
Me: Well sir you did not have coverage at the time your device was damaged, therefore the damage is not covered by our insurance
Cmr: Youre a scam artist! Send me to someone spanish I can reason with them
Me: ok sir, right awa...
So I either don't care or just expected it for so long I wasn't bothered.
My scores were average and then they changed my QA coach, that's when they started to get really good. Then they switched me back to my old coach, and now they suck.
I work pt at a movie theater
Me: Sure, what size?
Customer: I do not know, what flavors do you have?
Me: Umm, larger, medium and small.
Customer: I'll take the Coke:
Me: Okay, what size would you like your Coke?
Me: What size is regular?
Customer: What sizes do you have?
Me: (I'm getting frustrated all ready, I grab the cups and put them on the counter) We have small, medium and large.
Customer: I will take the one in the middle.
Me: Cool that is the small.
Customer: I thought that was a medium
Me: This one is a small
Customer: Then why did you put it in the middle.
Me: I have no clue why, did you want a medium coke now?
WTF, how hard is it to order one drink!
Customer Service Dictionary
Discount applied to a whiny customer.
The discount percentage or number of discounts applied to a same customer is directly in proportion to the times the customer has called in to complain about the service/product.
i.e.: "Man, this is the 5th time a supervisor call on this case has resulted in a Customer B!tchcount."
Not to be confused with Customer Disscount.
Which is a minor discount applied to a customer just to get him to shut up. Usually less than 10%.
Ways of Stress Relief