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This is a new one...

evillobster

Aug 18, 2006, 7:14 PM
had a customer who we were waiting for blackberry tech. support and he asked me if i knew ne good jokes.

As i was thinking of a clean one he just randomly said this:


The bible was originally titled "Chuck Norris and Friends"

Now me personally have mixed feelings on Chuck. Yes he is really over-hyped and now in hot topic stores (shrudders) but he is pretty good at martial arts and it takes a man to wear a freakin trenchcoat in texas weather.


anyhow thats besides the point, i thought it was funny, made me laugh and it made my day. anyhow know ne other chuck norris jokes? I'll list acouple of my favorites...

Chuck norris went to the virgin islands. they are now just the islands.

Chuck norris doesnt wear a condom because t...
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Nikoletta

Aug 18, 2006, 7:17 PM
Chuck Norris can talk about Fight Club... 🤣 Oh dear, that one took me a minute to figure out. That's a gem.
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willyum20

Aug 18, 2006, 7:22 PM
did anyone ever see that chuck norris movie sidekicks with johnathan brandis. total classic if you love bad 80's movies like myself 😁
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evillobster

Aug 18, 2006, 7:24 PM
lol sidekicks, thats old school like delta force
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craptacularwireless

Aug 18, 2006, 7:24 PM
Poor little Johny hanged himself.
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Nikoletta

Aug 18, 2006, 7:26 PM
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just not his own.

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."

Chuck Norris does not go hunting because "hunting" implies a chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "C...
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evillobster

Aug 18, 2006, 7:31 PM
LMAO omg thank you for making my night!

and www.chucknorrisfacts.com i know u might not reach it but go there sometime, like 12 pages full!!!
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craptacularwireless

Aug 18, 2006, 7:22 PM
Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck.
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evillobster

Aug 18, 2006, 7:29 PM
did that kid really kill himself?


and some more!


Chuck norris doesnt teabag ladies, he potato sacks them


Chuck norris is a noun AND a verb.

When the boogieman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for chuck norris
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craptacularwireless

Aug 18, 2006, 7:30 PM
Yep, he was left dangling like an apple on a tree.
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evillobster

Aug 18, 2006, 7:38 PM
oh wow, why? im guessing maybe his career was 'dead?' 😁
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craptacularwireless

Aug 18, 2006, 7:41 PM
Just as dead as he ended up. Love the pun😁 He couldn't live down his child actor status. Child stars having a hard time getting jobs when they're older. Watch those specials they show on VH1 about them, it's really quite tragic.
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evillobster

Aug 18, 2006, 7:47 PM
really? wow thanks ill check it out and yah...i liked the pun too 😁

ill research it when i go home in a few, any actors in mind? what do u suggest?
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WhoDey

Aug 20, 2006, 10:00 AM
Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by pointing at them and yelling "BOOYAH"
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GodHatesMe

Aug 20, 2006, 11:12 AM
Go to www.collegehumor.com and search for Chuck Norris. This guy put a whole slew of them on the website. They are awesome. 🤣
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GodHatesMe

Aug 20, 2006, 6:00 PM
I have not laughed this hard in a while. I completely forgot about Chuck Norris jokes until I came in today. I showed this to so many people here and we have all been laughing since. 🤣

And while we're at it...

Did you know that Chuck Norris actually lost his virginity before his dad did?
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evillobster

Aug 21, 2006, 12:33 PM
im glad i made your day^_^


lets keep it going!


chuck norris was born in a log cabin he built with his bare hands.


chuck norris went to the virgin islands. they are now just the islands
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Foamy

Aug 21, 2006, 12:35 PM
Chuck Norris can defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris can burn ants with a magnifying glass... at night!
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evillobster

Aug 21, 2006, 12:51 PM
😁 LMAO


there was no bomb dropped on heroshima. Chuck norris jumped out of a plane and hit the ground with his fist.


Chuck norris let the dogs out.
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ph0n3n3rd5

Aug 21, 2006, 10:37 AM
Once, Chuck Norris kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of lightened back in time, and killed Amelia Airhardt flying over the Pacific ocean.

My personal favorite has to be:

Chuck Norris can divide by zero. 😁

I
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deeterman

Aug 21, 2006, 2:10 PM
chuck has 23 chromosomes and all of them are poisonous
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evillobster

Aug 21, 2006, 6:25 PM
chuck norris can win a game of connect four in 3 moves.
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GodHatesMe

Aug 21, 2006, 11:50 PM
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris...
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GodHatesMe

Aug 21, 2006, 11:51 PM
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
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evillobster

Aug 22, 2006, 1:30 PM
LMAO niceeee 😁


one of my favorites:


Chuck Norris doesnt ask girls out. He just says "now"
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Foamy

Aug 22, 2006, 2:21 PM
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

That one absolutely kills me. 🤣 🤣 🤣
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evillobster

Aug 22, 2006, 2:35 PM
😁 ive always loved that one!


The helicopter was invented after someone saw chuck norris doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second.
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