Shop Talk
need some advice
I know this belongs in the lounge but I wanted all the advice I can get
I have been going out with this guy for a while now and in december he had a bad car wreck. He substained head injuries which affect his personality (just a little bit).
When he first came home from the hospital he had to have 24 hour care but kept talking about how much he wanted to stay with me again. So as soon as the doctors said everything was ok he moved back home with me.
I thought everything was going great. I mean money was tight because of the time he spent in the hospital but we were getting along good.
Then on Valentines day he told me he could not do this any more "that he was tired of feeling like he was married". He has moved most of his things o...
(continues)
I have been going out with this guy for a while now and in december he had a bad car wreck. He substained head injuries which affect his personality (just a little bit).
When he first came home from the hospital he had to have 24 hour care but kept talking about how much he wanted to stay with me again. So as soon as the doctors said everything was ok he moved back home with me.
I thought everything was going great. I mean money was tight because of the time he spent in the hospital but we were getting along good.
Then on Valentines day he told me he could not do this any more "that he was tired of feeling like he was married". He has moved most of his things o...
(continues)
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There is probably a deeper issue than he just needs space.... he may need to deal with some stuff about the accident... see if you can talk to him about it and if not let him go.... once he gets everything worked out he will probably come back.... maybe take a breather from the relationship for awhile.... or let him move out and still date or just keep in touch.... he's gone through alot of trauma and needs support right now
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Agreed, let him go. If it's brain damage or injury, nothing you say will change his mind, anyway.
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Its just really hard knowing that i did not leave the hospital the whole time he was there and then something like this happens
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He probably feels defeated and needs to gain a little confidence.... it's tough being down and out for that long and then put it behind you like it was nothing.... just let him know that you are there for him no matter what he needs..... let him be independant for awhile
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Sounds like temporal brain injury (I'm not a dr, just was pre-med and a little obsessive about learning about medical stuff). I know it's hard, and you don't have to leave him, I just know that his brain probably won't let him relax into your care. Letting him go will never be painless, but it will be easier to let him go gently than it will be to have him remove himself violently or angrily. Let him go.
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That ay one of twothings will happen. Either you leave him and find someone better. Or you leave him and realises he is an idiot and getting rid of you was the worst thing he could ever have done. Either way you willhave more money in your pocket and more happiness in your life. 😎
I am very wise. 🤣
I am very wise. 🤣
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The male ego is a fragile thing and maybe there is a part of him that feels embarrassed or emasculated by the fact that he was so dependent on your care, and therefore he is acting out. It has been my general experience that when a guy is ready to call it quits, rather than being mature about it, he will be really difficult to be around in the hopes of pushing you away. Maybe that's not the case for you, like you said he is a few years younger and maybe he just needs more time. My husband is a couple years younger than me and sometimes I feel like we are light-years apart on the whole life timeline thing...but he is catching up. My advice to you would be to give him some space...if he loves you, he will be back.
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I am trying to give him the space he needs. I just hope that I am not setting myself up to get hurt worse by thinking there is a chance that we can work everything out.
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It's really hard to make yourself vulnerable that way...I feel for you. You might hate yourself if you stick it out and he never comes around, but what if you throw in the towel and you always wonder know whether or not it could have worked out?
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I am going to do what I can to make this work. I know that he is a good person and I can't give up just because he is going through a hard time right now.
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