So what's your trademarkâ„¢?
Having been a Res Desk rep for a while now, I've had to come with some different analogies in order to get an idea across to some of our... say we say... less that brillant customers. Over time I've hear other reps rattle off their own humdingers and now I'm curious to hear yours.
This one is my personal trademark.
"So what you are saying is because you've had your driver's license for over twenty years, you shouldn't be charged for speeding?"
This one is my personal trademark.
"So what you are saying is because you've had your driver's license for over twenty years, you shouldn't be charged for speeding?"
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One I like is
"We provide a service and we do not manufacture the phones... When your television breaks to you call your cable company and demand a free television?"
"We provide a service and we do not manufacture the phones... When your television breaks to you call your cable company and demand a free television?"
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"If you wanna think about it this way TDMA is like a AM radio band and the GSM is the FM radio band."
or
"So if your TV broke you think that the cable company will give you a free TV?"
and finally
"Even if the companies never merged you still would have went over your minutes by 1000, companies to magicly add minutes to your bills."
or
"So if your TV broke you think that the cable company will give you a free TV?"
and finally
"Even if the companies never merged you still would have went over your minutes by 1000, companies to magicly add minutes to your bills."
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"Even if the companies never merged you still would have went over your minutes by 1000, companies dont magicly add minutes to your bills."
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"I apologize but the Warrenty doesn't cover your phone being stolen... You need Insurance. Kind of like when your car gets Jacked. No insurance No new car... And yes their is a deductable (like car insurance)"
"Mrs. Chan I find it difficult to believe your phone accidentally dialed China 17 times on this bill. And I'm sorry to hear you don't know anyone in China."
[SORRY for the steriotype insert Jamican Last name for calls to Jamica etc...]
"Mrs. Chan I find it difficult to believe your phone accidentally dialed China 17 times on this bill. And I'm sorry to hear you don't know anyone in China."
[SORRY for the steriotype insert Jamican Last name for calls to Jamica etc...]
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Here are a few i use:
1. Customer call in to troubleshoot phone while on it.........it would be like trying to change the tires on your car while you are driving down the highway
2. The difference between TDMA and GSM is like VHS and DVD's, you may really want to watch that old vhs movie, but no matter what you do you will never get it in the DVD player......or try to rent a new movie on VHS, it is not going to happen, same with purchasing TDMA fons
3. I am a lawyer and yadyadayada....and i am a customer care rep, but let's get back to the issue at hand.
4.I apologize you decided not to review your invoice before now, unfortunately tha tis why we send you one each month.
1. Customer call in to troubleshoot phone while on it.........it would be like trying to change the tires on your car while you are driving down the highway
2. The difference between TDMA and GSM is like VHS and DVD's, you may really want to watch that old vhs movie, but no matter what you do you will never get it in the DVD player......or try to rent a new movie on VHS, it is not going to happen, same with purchasing TDMA fons
3. I am a lawyer and yadyadayada....and i am a customer care rep, but let's get back to the issue at hand.
4.I apologize you decided not to review your invoice before now, unfortunately tha tis why we send you one each month.
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"Does your Electric Company call you and tell you 'You've gone over your kilowatts usage this month.'?"
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"Does your cable company send you invoice each month even if you don't watch TV that month"
"So you are a Lawyer... I would assume then you've read the Terms and Conditions in your Contract"
(This is usually followed by a "Click" or Cursing)
"So you are a Lawyer... I would assume then you've read the Terms and Conditions in your Contract"
(This is usually followed by a "Click" or Cursing)
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Ahh, the infamous "lawyer" routine. I like, oh then, you are aware that upon signing the contract that you agreed to pay all of our legal bills if you did take us to court. And that would far exceed the $175 ETF if you cancelled now. Do you want me to send you out a copy?
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The two favorites i've used on Res are
1) If a customer feels not responsible for the contract since they broke their phone "Sir/madam, if you lease a car from a dealership, drive it off the lot, get into a accident and smash it up, do you then call the dealership, say the car was totalled so i'm not paying anymore for the car????" 🤣 🙄
2) Customer calls in escalatedover the prorated bill because she cancelled after using it for 3 weeks."Well mam/sir, if you order a movie, watch half of it then decide to turn it off becuase you didn't like it, would you ask for it not to be charged?" 🤣 🤣
1) If a customer feels not responsible for the contract since they broke their phone "Sir/madam, if you lease a car from a dealership, drive it off the lot, get into a accident and smash it up, do you then call the dealership, say the car was totalled so i'm not paying anymore for the car????" 🤣 🙄
2) Customer calls in escalatedover the prorated bill because she cancelled after using it for 3 weeks."Well mam/sir, if you order a movie, watch half of it then decide to turn it off becuase you didn't like it, would you ask for it not to be charged?" 🤣 🤣
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AD said:
The two favorites i've used on Res are
1) If a customer feels not responsible for the contract since they broke their phone "Sir/madam, if you lease a car from a dealership, drive it off the lot, get into a accident and smash it up, do you then call the dealership, say the car was totalled so i'm not paying anymore for the car????" 🤣 🙄
Dude!! I am sooo gonna start using that one!
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Yes ma'am/sir, you may feel free to contact the Better Business Bureau, would you like their number?
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lol.
With the same idea in mind...
I always enjoy how taken back a customer is with how fast I reply with details on how to go about starting legal action over something stupid. It seems that everyone and their grandma is a lawyers and they expect a company to bend over backwards the second they say the word "sue".
With the same idea in mind...
I always enjoy how taken back a customer is with how fast I reply with details on how to go about starting legal action over something stupid. It seems that everyone and their grandma is a lawyers and they expect a company to bend over backwards the second they say the word "sue".
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Yep,
You realize our team of Attorneys are highly trianed and overpayed to write a contract which screws you know matter what... But you have to Love those people that think getting angry and threatening you (Like it's your company) will make you credit their $300.00 in Overage. These are the people we have to thank for the "Springer Show" and "The View"
You realize our team of Attorneys are highly trianed and overpayed to write a contract which screws you know matter what... But you have to Love those people that think getting angry and threatening you (Like it's your company) will make you credit their $300.00 in Overage. These are the people we have to thank for the "Springer Show" and "The View"
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futurama is good, family guy is good also peter is my buddy we have lots in common but
I'm the best Homer J Simpson from the SIMPSON 🙂
I'm the best Homer J Simpson from the SIMPSON 🙂
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i dont wanna know why your obsessing about howard sterns "junk".....u need help 😳
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You know this was probably one of the best threads I think I ever read until a small group of fools (you know who you are) turned it into a discussion about cartoons, WTF. If you want to talk about cartoons start a thread about cartoons. What is so hard about sticking to the topic. Just because you only have a few sites you can access from your cubicle why do you have to pollute this one with useless garbage.
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mmm... I sense much anger in you... anger leads to hatred, hatred leads to darkness... that is the path to the darkside...
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i personally love it when they demand a credit, and when i say no they start saying stuff like theyll report us to the fcc....bbb,..,...i actually have those numbers on my cube wall and provide them to customers if they mention it. i say sure. heres the number. my all time fav tho is when they say, "yea well i golf with the president of at&t every week, and he says im right!" ive also hear, "im a master of (enter any martial art) and if i knew were you were id come there and kick your ass! people like that amuse me.
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rep1of2000 said:
"im a master of (enter any martial art) and if i knew were you were id come there and kick your ass!
"But you don't. So you won't. 😉 "
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the other one is yea, well "*bob" in somewhere in the states; we arent authorized to tell you, i hope youve got resumes cause im gonna get you fired! (*insert any generic random name......matt, nick, sally, jane,dave amanda.......and so on.) im like yea...ill fire up the photocopyer.....lmao
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rep1of2000 said:
"im a master of (enter any martial art) and if i knew were you were id come there and kick your ass!
Here's how you handle that one. Invite them to come kick your ass and tell them that you're on the other side of the country. For example, if they're in Florida, tell them you're in Oregon. If they're in Nevada, say you're in Maine. If they are in Mississippi, go for the gold and tell them you're in Alaska.
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oh....and i would have to say simpsons and futurama beat out family guy and southpark anyday. southpark is just childish potty mouth garbage...and family guy is the same joke over and over. at least simpsons...(longest running series i do beleieve) is always funny. and futurama....made by the people who make simpsons...also hilaroius on a recurring basis!
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Simpsons is lame. The jokes are no brainers and weak. Family Guy is at least clever... and surprisingly that Futurama is from the same creators... Futurama has great jokes.
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simpsons is funny on so many levels tho.... you have to understand that to get the jokes. heres a quote from one of the funniest simpsons chars....
Ralph: "i saw principal skinner and mrs crabapple in the closet making babies and i saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me"
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or this one...
marge:"homer, i think we have someone here who can help you"
homer: "batman?"
marge: "no, hes a scientist"
homer: "batmans a scientist..."
marge: "its not batman!"
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maybe third times the charm...
homer: "oh lisa. you and your storys. bart is a vampire. beer kills brain cells...now lets go back to that place....were our...bed and tv....is."
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4 in a row!
kent brockman: "hi im kent brockman! (clappi...
(continues)
Ralph: "i saw principal skinner and mrs crabapple in the closet making babies and i saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me"
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or this one...
marge:"homer, i think we have someone here who can help you"
homer: "batman?"
marge: "no, hes a scientist"
homer: "batmans a scientist..."
marge: "its not batman!"
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maybe third times the charm...
homer: "oh lisa. you and your storys. bart is a vampire. beer kills brain cells...now lets go back to that place....were our...bed and tv....is."
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4 in a row!
kent brockman: "hi im kent brockman! (clappi...
(continues)
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Customers Question: "You tell me how i used all these minutes?!"
Agent: "Well you used 1 minute calling to ________ on Jan 01, 2005 at 12:32pm. Then you recieved a call for 5 minutes on Jan 01, 2005 at 4:30pm..."
Just keep going through the list of calls until they tell you to shut up.
Agent: "Well you used 1 minute calling to ________ on Jan 01, 2005 at 12:32pm. Then you recieved a call for 5 minutes on Jan 01, 2005 at 4:30pm..."
Just keep going through the list of calls until they tell you to shut up.
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I did that with a customer, a go-phone one at that,after going it all,(20+ minutes) he then asked for a credit to keep his phone on till n/w kicked in, was going to till looked in the notes, he did this every time he runs out then he stated good customer service eans giveing the customer whatthey want 🤣 🙄 🙄
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One I would like to use but don't is, "What happens when you are driving along and you run out of gas? Do you expect the gas station to automatically refill your car for you for free because of the inconvenience?" This one is a good one for phone replacements when they want a free phone, "Does your cable company get you a new TV when your's breaks or you just want a new one?"
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The second I get a snifter of punk kid it's,
"WerethereanyotherissuesIcouldresloveforyouto day."
-Stunned silence-
"No, well thank you for calling Cingular Wireless we do appreciate your business."
CLICK
"WerethereanyotherissuesIcouldresloveforyouto day."
-Stunned silence-
"No, well thank you for calling Cingular Wireless we do appreciate your business."
CLICK
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Here is my list of favorite primetime cartoons
5. Aqua Teen Hunger Force
4. Simpsons
3. Futurama
2. Family Guy
1. South Park
Thats my story and Im sticking to it. i know this may get blasted by everyone, however I find that over time simpsons and futrama do get boring. If you really think about it family guy is a funnier bastardizied version of the simpsons, so there! South Park you cant compare to anything, so what the kids are foul mouthed just think about what your kids are actually saying at school that you dont know about!
5. Aqua Teen Hunger Force
4. Simpsons
3. Futurama
2. Family Guy
1. South Park
Thats my story and Im sticking to it. i know this may get blasted by everyone, however I find that over time simpsons and futrama do get boring. If you really think about it family guy is a funnier bastardizied version of the simpsons, so there! South Park you cant compare to anything, so what the kids are foul mouthed just think about what your kids are actually saying at school that you dont know about!
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