Shop Talk

'my daughter is single.'

Tied between "How much fo y'alls fawty dollah plan?" and "How much fo y'alls free phones?"

The all time winner for simple mangled use of the English Tongue:

"I axed you once, I'm gonna axe you again, when you gonna cut my service on?"

Gosh, so many "good" ones from which to choose...

There was the nut who said he could use explosives to blow my nose off my face without hurting anything else, all because I would not bring him a phone @ 8:30 pm on a Saturday night.

I've had a couple of customers call me recently to ask if keeping their phones in their bras could cause liquid damage from sweating while dancing... 😳

"I've never had my phone near water."

Cust - I talk a lot I need an unlimited plan
Me - We don't have an unlimited plan but we do have a 6,000 min plan
Cust - That's too many mins I think I'll get the 450 plan

Hmm I have a couple more I thought of.

Me- Is your phone prepaid or contract?
Cust- It's a prepaid contract. It's one of those contracts on the prepay.

"How much for this phone?" (While looking at the price tag)

(After circling the kiosk twice, which has the same display on both sides) "I don't wanna look at these phones. I like the ones on the other side better."

"I won't pay you a dime. I won't pay my bill, my termination. NOTHING. I don't care because I have good credit."

Me- Ok. it's a $10 car charger with 6% sales tax, which comes to 60 cents. The total is 10.60 after tax.
Cust- Why's it so much?

These are just a few. I get them on a daily basis.

Just happened.

Reminds me a little of the Bill Engvall "Here's your sign jokes"

*Phone rings*
Me: Cingular Wireless this is SS.
Customer: Are you open today?


NO honey, I just like sitting here answering the phone on a Sunday.

Pretty much any conversation that involves the words 'dial' and 'tone.'

cust: "I need to upgrade my phone"

me: "ok" *look at the phone, it's a Cingular phone* "I'm sorry, we're a Verizon dealer"

cust: "Then why does is say Cellular on the sign?"

me: "It's cellular, NOT Cingular"

cust: 🤭

I was told to lay back on the mattress of the corporate world and spread my legs!

Here's a good one I just had.

"I want the new motorola, I don't want to pay anything, and I don't want to renew my contract!"

Which is it lady? Huh? WHICH FRIGGING ONE IS IT??!?!?!?!?

"Now I'll get service in all 53 states right?"

"Do you guys sell phones here?" 🤣

I had a 450 pound woman wobble into my store to proceed to tell me that she needs a cell phone for personal protection because she and her daughter were suing the band Black Sabbath for copyright infringement because her daughter wrote one of their songs that they recorded. She then told me that she has to have it to travel back to the Playboy mansion for another....yes,another....photo shoot for Hugh Heffner. She then told me that she saw Dale Earnhart and Jr in a black truck with the #3 on the side and they both got out to tell her that she was the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth, and lastly she said that when she dyes her hair red she looks like Arial from the Little Mermaid and people stop to tell her how beautiful she is.....
(continues)

"Which one of these phones is durable?"

Ummm...do you plan on running over it or what? Do you leave your TV out in the rain? And if so, do you truly expect it to work?

"There is NO way my little angel would have downloaded $1200 in ringtones and games"

"There is NO way my little angel would have used 600 text messages"

"I'm going to school to be a private investigator and I'll find out where those calls came from on my bill 😳 "

#1
"DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO?!?"
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
#2
"WHAT IS YOUR NAME? I'M GONNA COMPLAIN."
I point at my name tag. pronounce it.
"How do you spell that?" 🙄
i point again. and spell it for him vanna style.

" My wife and I want to add our 17 year old to the minimun share plan that we have now"

Rep: "Umm...you are already using within 50 minutes of your allotted minutes and you want to add a teenager? I would suggest going up in minutes"

Customer: " No way! I am not going to pay more for something we aren't using now. He/she will NEVER use it. It will only be for emergencies"

one month later...

Customer: "why the HELL are you billing me so much! Your billing system is WRONG!! I want you to get this fixed!! I am cancelling!! And what are data downloads?! He/she would never do that!! I am going to the competitor! You will hear from my attorney!"

Rep: "That's not the first time I have heard that and won't be the last...HAVE A GREAT ...
(continues)

My phone isn't recieving any calls?

you need to turn your phone on.

ohhhh, you mean it won't work when it's shut off?

"THIS PHONE IS BROKEN AND WILL NOT TURN ON!!"
*presses power button*

(sweet old decrepit lady) "i can't hear the dial tone on this phone, could you fix it?"

LEAST DROPPED CALLS MY ASS! 🙄 this one kills me. i almost wish we had never done that stupid commercial because customers think they're so clever using that little joke when they have a siemens phone in a no coverage area 👿

SIMS CARD

these pictures are horrible!

it's a camera PHONE ma'am... not a camera.

YOU sold me bad service! YOU ran my bill up! YOU didn't build enough towers! YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU.

"What is that number."

"It's...888-88..."

"Wait, let me get something to write that down!"

WHY THE Hell DID YOU ASK FOR THE NUMBER I FYOU WEREN'T READY TO TAKE IT?

"I always lose coverage traveling from this location to this one, when are YOU going to do something about it?"

REP: "OH! I am so sorry that you have that issue there...let me get my happy ass on up an' outta here to go build you that friggin tower you seem to think I need to be working on. And while I am at it I will get the mystical worker gnomes I have in the back to fix the liquid damage in your phone, make it coffee-proof, and flick that magical button to make your phone indestructible since that is also MY fault." 👀

got another couple
1. cust wants pre paid phone

cust- so wat do i have to pay for right now

me- the price of the phone plus whatever minutes u wish to purchase

cust- i gotta pay for the minutes 2?!?why? I DONT UNDERSTAND

me- well its a PRE-PAID phone so u pay b4 u use the time hence the PRE part of the product

cust- stop talking to me like im stupid!

2. cust- i just spent 2 grand on a laywer to get me out of my nextel contract

me- how much was etf?

cust-(and proudly i might add) a hundred and fifty bucks!

3. cust calls in for a price quote on a nokia 6102 no contract, i say 179.99. cust comes in and goes to another rep, cust goes irate screaming that i quoted her a different price over the phone, so i interject h...
(continues)

So the police had confiscated this guy's phone. We cannot cover property siezed by a governmental authority (in any instance). This gentleman didn't understand. He insisted that the police had stolen his phone when they arrested him for drugs. It was siezed by them as evidence.

Here's my favorite quote.

Customer: "Man, you're doin' me like Rodney King! You might as well be hittin me with a nightstick."

Why are you guys screwing me, I have a friend who is a lawyer.


Ever notice everyone has a friend who is a lawyer 🤨

you mean i have to pay the deposit today??? you cant just bill it to me... or my other favorite, i cant get the i870 for free???

Um... Is this Vonco?

But those aren't actually my customers - Vonco just has the wrong phone number listed everywhere - including their building.

Of course there are the old classics - Do you sell phones here? How much for dem Go phones? (since I work for a company w/ Go in the name) Where is TMobile/Sprint/Nextel/Qwest/dem chirp phones/Boost/Foot Locker/My @$$/Marsahll Fields/ The Bathroom...especially when it's w/i 10 feet of me. So you ONLY have [carrier]? Why do I have a $400.00 deposit? Do I HAVE to pay the deposit? (no but then you don't get a phone either)

I wrote a post about one guy that asked for a folding phone. He was a barrel of monkeys to say the least.

I think my favorite so far is:

Me: How did it get water dama...
(continues)

Okay, this happened a while back, i was doing a 15 day exchange for someone, they wanted a RAZR (shudder). So i go into the back and I ask a sales type going into inventory "Can you grab me a RAZR?"
Agent: "A phone?"
I pause. "Nope, got a customer here who's feeling a bit bristly today and I'd thought he could use a shave"

Can you tell me the difference between an IPOD and an mp3 player?

Where are/is the computers, bathrooms, pretty much anything with a big freeking sign hanging above it.

All you guys have is Verizon?

Can you sell me a TV?

I'm in a VZW store inside Circuit City. All I ask is that you stop, look, and think before you open your mouth.

Regarding phones...my favorite customer quote is...

I don't know how it got broke/wet. I put it on my dresser and when I woke up it was like that. So why won't you swap it under warranty?

lol...the stupidity of people is amazing!

so this happened yesterday...I got to work a few minutes early and when logging in and putting my nametag on. This lady did the whole lean-on-the-counter-and-stare-you-down thing, until she finally said "Do you work here?" No I don't work here but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night 😳

today, guy from homeless shelter that has a crush on my co-worker:

enters store, and shouts:

"Look who's stuck in the peep hole!!"

Leaves store...

me: 👀
co worker: 😕

"My phone says GPS. Can the DEA tell where I'm at even if I don't make a call?"
"Yes sir."
"Oh $H*T!"
🤣 🤣 🤣
That was a long time ago at call center. Definitely one of my favorites.

freephone's post just sparked this memory.

"I run a UFO spotting agency and I'm gonna need internet service out in the boonies."

Ok, we have service in those areas. It may not be as fast, but it will work.

"Is it encrypted? Because the NSA is going to be VERY interested in what I'm going to be doing."

No, kidding. He came back a week later lookin like hadn't slept in a week, saying he was on the run. I had trouble keeping a straight face. 🤣

This one didn't happen to me it happened to my employee on his first day at work. He was helping an older lady upgrade who was worried about getting ripped off. He was showing her our cheapest phone then this conversation took place.

Cust: What's that?

Him: Thats the screen.

Cust: Oh! Whats That do?

This is a true story...

Customer: I can't hear people when they talk..
Me: Let me make a test call...seems fine
Customer: picks up phone, dials, and holds back of phone up to her ear...
Me: Ummmm...you need to turn the phone around.
Customer: well no one told me that!!
Me: 🙄

"What kinda deals do you guys have?"

"What do you mean it's three hundred dollars?! It was only fifty when I bought it!"


"Does my social security have to be valid?"


"Can I bill here?" holding a Verizon landline bill.
"No, we sell Verizon Wireless."
"What do you mean? Verizon is Verizon!"

can i pay my gas bill here

how do i download music to my i870??

"Need to get my phone cut back on!"

-Just exactly how do you "cut" a phone back on. I like to reply, "No I cant cut your phone back on, but I can restore your service sir."

"Where's the closest (insert any wireless carrier but yours here)?

-Seriously did they just go out of their way to come to my store to ask me where another carrier's store is? Come on people its called Google, or Mapquest. And for the Tech-challenged - the WHITE PAGES!

"Will this phone work in Haiti?"

::after cust rips phone into 17 peices::

"See? The inside liquid damage indicator isn't red. I told you it never got wet. Now replace it."

~-~-~-~-~-~-

::there's something orange and squishy under the battery and liquid droplets around it::

"That's not liquid damage, that's just the food I had on my hands when I took the battery out."

~-~-~-~-~-~-~
Or my all time favorite:

"What do you mean it's gonna take 10 minutes to replace it? Can't you just do it right now?"

You got dem roll over minutes?

(I work for T-Mobile)

I had a guy come in the other day that wanted to uprgade his his phone. When I was putting his sim into the new phone he says

"I know you're not supposed to show me but can I watch what your doing?"

Sorry for bringing this post up again, but this just happened.

I ran credit on a customer, and it came up "Analyst review" because he's from a different state. I explained that i had to call it in really quick, and he said:

"I only have the one rape conviction."

I'm still only 75% sure he was joking.

Any variation of SIM card, to include: sims card (is this a computer game?), slim card, etc.

I also particularly love the people who respond to posts on here with just a smiley face. 👿

"So, it would be da same if I add a line to Circular with you guys since I have a Verizon phone, it would be da same thing right?"

I looked at him for a long while. And he waited, and waited... then I said "Im not following you."

"But those phones are a dime a dozen!" He had purchased a 6101 about 20 days ago (as per his story) for 49.99 and it had APPARENTLY been water damaged because some little thing was all red (my take, he went to a store demanding a replacement, they saw a cherry red water damage indicator and told him to bugger off so he decided to harass me) but he was insistent that the phones weren't really worth that much and he wanted another of the same phone for the same price and why the heck had they given him that phone for 49.99 25 days ago (his number kept changing every time he said it) why I was I trying to rip him off by expecting him to pay 149.99 for the same phone. He could NOT grasp that the discount he had been given was for a contract re...
(continues)

So this is a little old but still funny. A couple years back we got in the Kyocera 7135. Now, since this was our first PDA phone ever, it had a significantly higher price point than any other phone in our line up, so here goes:


Cust: "How much is phone X, Y, Z?"

Me: {I answer his question, they ranged from free to maybe $100 on contract}

Cust: "How much is that new PDA Phone"

Me: "$400 with a 2 year contract"

Cust: "$400!!! For that price I can get myself a good hooker. Tell me son, is that phone gonna be able to give me a blowjob for the $400 you want me to pay for it?"

Me: {Shocked and embarrassed for him} "Um, no"

when asked who their service provider is, they say "motorola," or "noky (mispronunciaton of nokia)".

or just the opposite, when i ask them who what type of phone they have, they say, "verizon" or "sprint." i will say, "yes, but who actually made the phone?" again, "verizon."

ignorance is bliss, some say.....

i don't know..... 😁

I gotta couple. "You sound like that guy from 24....Keifer Sutherland!", and after telling someone what their deposite will be."What happened to my credit to make it so much?" oh and when a fraudster didnt want to give me his last name because,"people laugh at him." when i promised i wouldnt laugh...he couldnt even pronounce the d*mn thing! but it was funny hearin him fumble thru it before i just laughed and sent him to the store. Jacked the wrong mans id there didnt ya slick? lol

"this is my bussiness phone am loosing x amount of money for every minute am without my phone (they always carry the free phone, and have the cheapest plan with the least amount of minutes). I cant wait for my insurance claim to go throught so you need to provide me with a phone right now" got to love the "bussiness customers"

"YOU MEAN THIS IS THE CHARGER PORT!????"
*she had been for the last week trying to put the charger of a Kyocera 414 in the headphone outlet*

.

there are alot of good posts here. Here are a couple.

1.cust calling in" while i was holding for 1 hr you me and my wife got in a fight and she left me. You just cost me my marriage"

me" you were only holding for about 2 mins"

cust "oh whos counting".

2. well you going to replace the phone or should i just throw the f#$king thing against the wall and out in the trash.

3. "You will not credit me this outrageous 0.02 raise in taxes i will disconnect my service and you will speak to my lawyer"

me "your etf is 175.00"

"cust thats fine have fun with my lawyer"

It happens atleast once a week here.

*Phone Rings*

Me:
RAM Telecom - Verizon Wireless, How can I help you?

Cust:
Yeah, um.., do you sell Cingular/Spring/Nextel??

____________________________

Customer comes in:

Yeah, do you sell T-Mobile here?

Me: No, I'm sorry we are a Verizon Dealer

Cust: Well what about Cingular/Sprint?

((Nevermind the Verizon signs all over our walls inside the store, and the like 5 signs on the outside of our building))

A customer who speaks little English walks in opens his phone flips it closed and says "no minutes" (not a prepaid) after 20 minutes of asking questions I realize he meant his billing cycle was almost up and he wanted to pay his bill but every month he comes in and says my favorite quote "no minutes"

"Thank you for stopping in today. What can I help you out with today?"

"Yes... I need to figure out how to access my pictures..."

*It's a phone I've never seen in my life before. I start trying to figure it out, and I am successful after a few minutes*

Customer: "What's the problem?"

"You do this, this, and this. I was not familiar with this phone. We don't carry this phone."

"But I have U.S. Cingular!!!"

"Ma'am, you have a Cingular phone. This is a U.S. Cellular store."

"Oh... Well thanks for helping me..."

it never fails.... "HOW DO I TURN ON MY NOKIA 6010 I JUST BOUGHT"

cust: SO YOU GUYS HAVE 1000 MINS WITH NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS for 49.99?
us:yes we do.
cust: HOW MUCH IS IT A MONTH
us: 🙄 🤨 🙄 🤨

Here's one from a LAZY Sunday:

"I have a question....My boyfriend just had his lawnmower sittin on top of his lawnmower, and accidentally ran over it with his phone; what does he have to do to get a new one?"

CLASSIC 🤣

Cust: Verizon?

Me: No.

Cust: Uh, (looks around) Do you sell verizon?

Me: (Look at my nametag) No.

Cust: Then why do I pay my bill every month?

Me: I don't know.

Cust: That's the most rediculous thing i've ever heard! I'm gonna call Verizon corporate and file a complaint against you!

Me: Please do. In fact, here's my card. (plainly says CINGULAR)

Cust: I'm gonna have your job!

Take your pick, everything he said belongs in this post.

"Where's those blueberry things?" (inquiring about the blackberrys)

"Well customer care told me...."

Lady walks into the store holding a plastic bag.."I need help with my phone, its not working..." "ok, whats wrong with it" she then proceeded to drop this bag on my counter and says "check it out". I pulled the phone out of the bag and it was a home phone... not even a cordless one either, cord and everything... so i said "uhhhh sorry lady, i cant really help you with this"... angry lady says "well why not?!" and i replied we dont take care of home phones sorry...so she says "Thats rediculas, thanks for nothing" and storms out

Had a customer come into our store all frantic. Took like 5 minutes for the rep to calm him down. Once he did, he said that he needed to activate 2 phones for him and his girlfriend because she was at home and threating to kill herself and it will be the only way he can contact her. Everyone in the store turned around and looked at this kid like WTF. So the rep helping him was like, Hows it going to hel pher if she is at home killing herself now and you are here ??? He was like, thats why I need it fast so i can get it to her to try to work it out. During the activation, this guy kept using our phone. You could here him whispering in the phone telling someone to tell uncle this, auntie that , his brother, and the family dog that he loves tha...
(continues)

Customer walks into a Cingular Store and asks, "Is this a U.S. Singular " store. Our rep replys with, No, U.S. Cellular is down trhe street and Singular is an allergy medicine. Thats anyways and have a nice day

Situation: Customer comes in to do a relocation from cali to utah.
Me: so what brings you to utah?
Him: Well, I quit my job around 6 months ago and I was just F*ckin around out in cali and I met a girl and moved up here with her.
Me: Oh cool, I love stories like that.
Him: Yup..met her on the internet..on Sexfinders.com its awesome I got like 5 replies in the first day. I treat her like sh*t and if she dumps me I'll just find someone else and move again!
Me: Well that sounds like a fool proof plan.
Him: Yeah it was great when I quit my job I just bought a bunch of drugs and booze and got high and drunk all day. I got to watch the whole winter olympics!
Me: Wow that sucks.

So, I work at a store in Vermont, and we happen to be my carrier's only store in the ENTIRE STATE. Needless to say, some of our customers have to travel fairly far to get to us. That said, enjoy these little tidbits:

Customer comes in...

"Welcome to ____, my name is Erin. What can I help you with?"

"Is your tech here?"

"Nope, he's not in today."
(customer starts flipping out)
"This is ridiculous. I have driven an hour and a half to get here, THREE TIMES now, and he's not here. Why isn't the tech here?"

"Well, sir, we only have one tech, and he needs days off, too. Did you call before you drove down?"

"NO?!?! Why would I call?!?!"

"...to see if the tech was in..."

"This is unbelievable...I'm gonna cancel...blablabla"...
(continues)

My favorite quote from a customer is when they walk in a Sprint store asking where the nearest Cingular/Alltel store is. Or when they ask if you sell other carriers products!

The best one ever. 😎

"It never touched the water...Why else would it go into car kit mode?"

I took a q-tip to her charging port and pulled out a bunch of crusty nasty stuff

"Oh, well, I guess I did drop in in my mashed potatoes earlier....but that wouldn't hurt the phone, would it??" 😳

Wow this is a long thread @_@

Anyway, I have one from my phone sales job and two from my old jobs at GameStop and Game Zone.

Cingular: "I want to try for a phone." It's like a carnival game or something... For some reason this one always strikes me as really stupid.

GameStop/Game Zone:
C - How much can I get for [insert game title here]?

M - $8 store credit.

C - Man, I can get more for that on the street!

That one was really popular. Apparently there's a huge video game resale market "on the street".

***********
C - How much do you guys take for Madden 2006?

M - $49.99

C - I get $49.99 in credit for Madden 2006?

M - No. That's how much we take for it. Apparently you wanted to know how much we would ...
(continues)

Another one I was just reminded of before slamming my head into the counter several times. Oh...it just happened again while I was typing this. I love it.

C - Can you pay your bill here?

M - Yes, we can accept payments with credit or debit card.

C - OK, I'll pay cash.

M - No. We can accept payments with credit or debit card only.

C - Oh....You mean you can't pay with cash?

M - That is correct.

People don't understand the more subtle nuances of the language I guess. Like if someone says they can do something in two different ways, it typically excludes ways that weren't mentioned. Sorry, guys, you'll have to take that government hand-out money and put it into something useful, like a bank account.

"Do you guys sell phones here?"


Nope....we are really just a faux-store. Nothing you see here is real...in the back is a huge smuggling operation, and we train secret agents here....shhhh....don't tell!

me-How can I help you today?

c-My phone reception sucks. It doesn't work in my house.

me-Okay when did you purchase the phone?

c-a year ago september.

me- when did this problem arise?

c-when I bought the damn phone.

me-well sir, why did you then keep the phone for 15 months and just decide to come in and complain about it today?
Nothing but silence!
I love it!

So many to choose from...last year I sold a phone to a woman for her 15 year old daughter. She of course refused vision and text packages. Fast forward a couple months, the lady is back, pulling her daughter by the hair. Guess who racked up $600 in text messaging and casual data usage, as well as minute overages? That's right, your little princess. I explained the charges and she just kept repeating, "OKAY PUT ON PLAN TAKE OFF BILL!" over and over. She was Chinese and didn't speak much english, so I don't think she was understanding what I was telling her. Finally I said, "I will put on the plan but I can't take off the charges!" She said, "Okay, you take off charges, thank you" and walked away. I'm still not sure whether she suckered some p...
(continues)

Lets go thread you rule. 😎

Happened today-

Daughter-"Mom I wanna be a concubine!"

Mother-"Honey you can never be a concubine!"

I have no idea how they started talking about it but it was pretty interesting.

Customer walks in

C- Where are you sprint phones?

M- Well, we don't carry sprint phones here.

C- Ya'll don't have sprint phones?

M- No mam we carry Cingular phones.

C- So where do I go for Sprint phones?

M- Probably to the Sprint store...

C: "No! My phone has never been wet! Ever!"

Me: "Are you sure?"

C: "Of course!"

Me: "really? (as water is dripping on my counter as I gently shake the phone)"

C: "oh that's just the lubrication the phone needs for the gears to work."

M: speechless 😳

C: "You got dem Go Phones here?"
M: "No, we don't got none of dem Go Phones here"
C: "You makin fun of me?"
M: "No, we don't got none of dem Go Phones here"
C: "I didn't ask you if you got dem Go Phones! I asked you if you wuz making fun of me!"
M: 🤨
C: "Well, you makin of me?
M: "No sir, I am telling you we don't got none of dem Go Phones"
C: Stomps out...

Yesterday...
Customer: "Jesus would have given me a free phone. It is Christmas ya know...can't you help a brother out?"

ME: Sir if Jesus was here I think he would lay hands on your broken phone fixing it good as new. However, since Jesus is not here and there is no insurance on your phone I would be happy to sell you a new phone for $149.99.

Customer: Jesus is mad at you!

Me: That is nothing new sir this is Las Vegas after all. 😈

Customer started to cry then left. For real. Tears... OMG!

I am a pre-sales chat consultant, so I deal with people typing to me. My favorite quote, partly because I get it ALL the time has to be:

"HOW DO I BOUGT FONE?"

This same phrase is delivered with variations on spelling and capitalization, but the words themselves are a direct quote that I hear at least once a day.

I love my job.

A girl calls about reactivating her service. She goes on and on about being a single mom, had credit issues etc. while she is processing.

I tell her she has a 400.00 deposit, she tells me she is not paying 400.00 plus the 600 she owes to us and goes on and on, being quite nasty to me. I put her on mute to "talk to a manager" about her issue and to look up her old account. I mutter to myself about what a b$%#@ she is and if she had paid her bills instead of making excuses, she wouldn't have a problem.

I pushed the wrong button and had her on speaker.........oops

Ok, so a customer walks in and decides they want a free phone, with a $0 deposit. I try my hardest to explain to them the benefits of going with a better phone. but to no avail, they take the free phone.

So I tell her her total. The phone was free, but she had to pay taxes.

Me- Ok, ma'am. the total comes to $5.73.

C- How?

Me- Well, the phone is free, but you still need to pay the taxes, which came out to $5.73. The Government gets their cut as well.

C- Well, the government sucks! And so does Verizon! I'm going to sprint where I had a $200 and a free phone.

Me- So you're willing to sacrifice good service and $5.73 for Sprint and their $200 deposit?

C- As long as I dont have to pay for a phone!!!

Here's another one of my favorites from my previous job:

Cust: I wanna know why I have a $300.00 bill!
Me: It says here that you had over 300 minutes in calls to Canada. Because Canada is outside your area, it costs $.69 per minute.
Cust: Can you give me some kind of credit?
Me: We currently offer a calling plan which includes Canada, and has the same ammount of minutes as your current plan. It only costs $20 more per month, and I can retroactively apply it to your account. (note: this is the second month with over $200 in Canada calls)
Cust: $20!?!?! That's too much in a month!

This conversation lasted another half hour.

*sigh*

I bet that, had this taken place online, the customer would have been typing lIKE tHIS!!!

Customer comes in with his wife's phone. He's only been married to her for about a year, but he thinks he should have the ability to make changes to her account on his own. He is at least 85, maybe older and in his last days. How do I know he's in his last days? Because he gave me his life's story...well, at least his last year's story.

You see....

He was diagnosed with colon cancer last year, and they removed about 3 feet of his colon in January. Then in July, he had emergency triple bypass heart surgery, and he was almost recovered when he slipped a disc and had to have back surgery in Sept. He doesn't think he has long to live, but he wants the ability to change his wife's account to something cheaper (since he isn't going t...
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not that i don't like them but really how many people buy phones and get lied too about what they just bought. 👿

had this guy call me who lost his treo and was leaving on a "business trip" so he say's "i need the phone right away activate the phone locater!" i'm like sir the phones have gps but we don't pinpoint lost phones exact location here's the number to asurion.

I didn't have anything to add, I just like this thread and want to see how long we can make it. At least this one pertains to our lives in ShopTalk.

#2. Said to my manager: 'Listen you Arab Mexican half-breed mother****er, I bought this phone here and you are going to give me a refund or else I am going to come around that counter and beat you!' (my boss was born and raised in England and is netiher Arabic nor Hispanic.)

Or my favorite dialogue, which I wish I was there for...

Customer: 'Yeah, the other guy isn't here (the customer is refering to me, who was out on lunch) and it is a good thing. Last time I was in here, I got pissed at him and threw my phone at him. man, that kid was so scared. He sat there, staring at me like a deer caught in headlights.'

My manager: 'Oh...you're the one who did that. Yeah...he wasn't scared...he was contimplating how to beat you senseless.'

...
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Got one today: "I'm a long time customer, what can you do for me?"

The guy in fact was a long time customer, something like 17 years with us.. but I still hate it when they expect everything for free and dig around for credits. He kept saying, "Do you understand what I'm saying to you?" or "Do you know what I mean?" and went on about how he must've shelled out 50,000$ to the company so far.

Ugh. I wouldn't mind helping someone that has been with us for that long, but I hate it when they act like some kind of celebrity, as if to say, "Do you know who you're talking to?".

Two more of my favorite:

'What do you mean you won't let me access my Mom's account? It's my phone!'

or

'Well I can get this phone for free online through , why are you guys charging 200 dollars for it?'

If you can get it for free somewhere else, why are you in my store arguing with me over the price?

SOMEONE PLEASE LOCK THIS THREAD OR KILL IT!!!


This is taking up way too much space. Start a new one.

😲 "well thats more expensive than my home phone!"(No SH!T!)

Hey, I've lost my phone here at home and I know its here somewhere but, I turned it off before I lost it, I was just wondering if you could trun it on for me.
Umm HELLO! You have to hold a button to turn the phone on, how would I be able to do that from 3 states away? Ppl are dumb!