Shop Talk

C=customer
E=coworker

Coworker is in the process of activating 2 free phones for the customer (one of which his son lost a week later, different story).

C: "I shaved my eyebrows"
E: "You shaved your eyebrows?"
C: "Yeh!, its alright though evertimei do it they grow back."
E: "Well....thats good."
C "I know! I think i might be part lizard because i also had the tip of one of my fingers cut off and it grew back."
E: "um...wow..thats nice sir."

at this point she is totally weirded out by the guy and he asks to use our restroom which isnt for the public but she lets him anyway. Come to find out our manager was watching the cameras and witnessed the customer walk into our restroom after leaving the door open only to spray our febree...
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I had a woman who kept laughing hysterically in between stories about her dead husband and her little brother.

Would you like me to turn up the volume so you can hear this porno, while i jack off to your voice? 😕

I had a different one today:

Cust: I just got a new pre-paid phone with the $100 card to add minutes to it and I've got a quick question for you..

Me: Sure, how can I help you?

Cust: Where do I stick the card?

Me☹️staying completely silent for a moment while I let the question soak in and avoid saying the first thing that comes to mind)

🙄 🙄 🙄 🙄

We had this lady who would call in about every six to eight months. She is from our city. She sounds down and depressed. You ask what is wrong.

Then she tells you she just shot her two kids and is staring at their limp bodies.

I tried to get some info but she was vague. Then before she hung up she said that she just wanted to talk to someone before she shot her self. Then the phone goes dead!

weirdest thing would be last week...talked to an eastern indian dude.
said that lebanese terrorists were using alpha tag technology to break into his online account manager.
the conversation came about as he was whining about how he always had to have his password reset & how big of an inconvenience it was to keep calling in & getting it reset as the lebanese had technology that far surpassed any safety measures that at&t might have set up to protect his privacy. basically, he was saying it was a joke.

he was such a whinebag...resulted in his registration being cancelled in the middle of the phone call causing the call to drop 😲

that sounded like a gay guy would have said it. 👀

I just had an old southern belle from Tennessee call me and go on about all her health problems ("I'm about to just fall down day-ed, honey") and her finances ("I only get $650 every month, honey") and her awful children ("honey, my daughter's 18 and she just had a bay-bee and I don't even know who the fah-tha is and she says she learned how to be that way from me! I don't know how; I haven't been with a may-an in 8 years, not since me and her daddy got dee-vorced") and how she never could've made it without Jesus. For 45 minutes. 😳

For a while we were getting calls at my call center that were a recording, I think, of a woman reading something. It described a fairly brutal murder, and frankly I found it so creepy I didn't listen long before saying the dear air script and ending the call.

We have this one woman that comes in every so often and each time she gets weirder and weirder. One time she came in my coworker got her, and she wound up telling her that she was an alien. She was born on the day of the Roswell events, and said that she needs her phone to work because they are eventually going to call her to let her know they are coming back for her. 👀

She came back in the next week to get another phone, and when I went to transfer her numbers my transfer machine decided to stop working. I came out of the back room to let her know it was gonna take a little longer than expected, and she informed me that she had put a voodoo curse on my machine the night before. Because she's a voodoo witch. 🤨 Now, I can te...
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This is what this guy said, and he said it because he didn't like the fact that he couldn't upgrade to a free smartphone after just 3 months of being in a new contract:

"I'd rather my daughter married a n***er than get a phone with (our company)!"

I terminated that call right away.

I don't really remember the situation, but a customer was mad with my employee and I reaffirmed that what my employee was saying was correct. As she was leaving she turned around to me and said, "Well you have a hairy neck!" 😳

just told customer to go to a store because she cant take the back off her nokia 6350 then she starts rambling on and on about how she was just on the phone w/an indian rep to try to fix her laptop & her printer (says it's essential to her that it always works because she's a SERIOUS script writer. yep. that was the exact word, SERIOUS.) then she said the rep used to work for bill gates & actually told her that bill gates made a deal w/indians. the secret was that b.g. will give them the gift of job security as an exchange for their excellence in technology. all they need to do is make sure the computers won't work every 3 months so americans will keep calling in & that's why there are a lot of call centers in india. i dunno if she had anyth...
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