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Replying to:  Bob Threads the complete (so far) tales of Bob by xDon.TM   Jul 22, 2006, 11:48 PM

bobs alarm

by satch of the moe    Jul 25, 2006, 5:36 AM

Figured i would re post this with the rest of bob's stories.

Bob, coming home from walmart, feeling pretty satisfied with himself getting a free alarm which was only 20.00 in the first place by getting into an argument over why he should be able to taste test which hotdog pack was better.

He walks into his house and sets up his alarm. Goes around a little bit thinking of who he will write a letter to tomorrow to complain.

Why does the state always seem to leave roadkill around his property? Why does his mail always smell like urine? He was very unhappy at many things but all this made him tired so he decided to go to bed since he had work tomorrow.

Looking at the alarm, it said 5 am so he thought that would be good enough to get to work by 8 am and to yell at some people and to say how stupid they are.

So he goes to sleep and wakes up at noon. Bob being Bob felt it was his civil duty to skip work and call the manufacturer of the alarm company to complain.

Care rep: Yes Sir how can we help you?

Bob: I am very unhappy that your crappy alarm did not wake me up as it should have and made me miss work. I feel you need to send me a brand new top of the line alarm at no charge overnighted no charge. Pay for the day of work you made me miss and i also want a personal hand written letter of apology from your president saying how dumb you company is.

Rep: Umm i am sorry you had problems. We first need to see what the problem might have been sir.

Bob: What do you think...I am some kind of idiot? I know how to use an alarm.

Rep: We still need to do this sir.

Bob: Fine ask your stupid questions.

Rep: Did you first plug the alarm into a working outlet and put batteries in.

Bob: What kind of bs is i just pulled it out of the box and it already said 5 am and pm so it should already be ready. I dont think you know what you are doing...I want a manager.

Rep: Ok sir, one second.

Manager: (gets explained the info from rep) Sir I do apoligize we do not send out batteries with the alarms and it clearly states this on the box. Also what you were seeing was a piece of plastic on the alarm to give you an idea how the screen would look for you. If you notice, it also says on that piece to pull off before use.

Bob: What kind of fuc#ing company is this you are so cheap that you cannot provide batteries for your customer? Or you try deception by putting this so called plastic on the alarm. I will sue you I swear I will have you head for this. I am not some kind of idiot like you. I am a very important person and I have a personal line to the president. Do you want to wake up tomorrow in cuba and not know how you got there?

Manager: Sir our alarms are very easy to use unless you are a complete idiot which i am sorry to say you appear to be. I suggest you return it to the store and have a good day. The manager hangs up the call

Bob thinks to himself.

How dare they treat me like this. I will get him fired I will send the entire company a letter. How do they think the uni bomber learned his trade? Bob goes storming off to work.

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