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[iPh5] let's start rumors

kissesssss

Feb 2, 2012, 11:01 PM
what's it do that the 4s doesn't and when does it come out?





**disclaimer to customers** this thread is entirely fictional and made of the rantings of disgruntled cell phone employees and not to be taken literally. While we're at it, quit acting so friggin entitled, your poo stinks just like everyone elses.
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Tygalilie13

Feb 2, 2012, 11:15 PM
*scoff*
Yes it does what are you talking about. Now wipe my @$$ with that golden toilet paper.....
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kissesssss

Feb 2, 2012, 11:21 PM
as a 3d lifesize hologram, and she's hawt 😲
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Thor713

Feb 2, 2012, 11:30 PM
And it has the..... *drum roll* ....SUPER WIFIS!
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Jellz

Feb 3, 2012, 7:55 AM
does it have the wee-fees?
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Fredd

Feb 3, 2012, 10:40 AM
Did you see the Big Bang Theory episode where Raj dreamed he went to Apple and met Siri?
Hilarious!
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kissesssss

Feb 3, 2012, 1:37 PM
I love that show! but haven't owned a tv in over a year so missed it. I'll youtube it
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melrhodes

Feb 3, 2012, 9:07 AM
it is a 5G phone!!! 😲
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kissesssss

Feb 3, 2012, 1:41 PM
we have the same silly customers
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Fredd

Feb 3, 2012, 5:15 PM
I have a friend that know a lot about these things that they are skipping over the iPhone 5 and going straight to the iPhone 7!
It will be an 8G phone too!
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crybabycry

Feb 3, 2012, 9:56 AM
auto bowel/bladder movement app, alarm goes off when you gotta go and gives a count down till your going anyway.
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Jellz

Feb 3, 2012, 10:17 AM
I was talking to someone in college yesterday, a dude, who said he tried an app that tells you if you're pregnant or not. He said he answered the questions honestly and it told him there's a good chance he's pregnant. It didn't ask if he was a man or sexually active even.
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melrhodes

Feb 3, 2012, 11:07 AM
😳 🤣
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Fernando Llamas

Feb 3, 2012, 10:12 AM
Going to be 4G LTE. VZW won't do anymore non-LTE smartphones. (I use the term "smartphone" tongue-in-cheek" while talking about the iPhone)
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famoussasjohn

Feb 6, 2012, 4:29 PM
It is a smartphone..It does everything a blackberry does..and then some. 😛
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crybabycry

Feb 3, 2012, 10:35 AM
how about a built in breath-a-lizer that blocks ex boyfriends/girlfriends/booty calls from being able to be texted or dailed while above the legal alcohol limit.
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Fredd

Feb 3, 2012, 10:44 AM
How about an app that REQUIRES you to call or text for a booty call when in such a state, and selects the most appropriate person to call 😲 😈
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famoussasjohn

Feb 6, 2012, 4:28 PM
Malfunction: Calling mom/dad for late night booty call.
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truthinsuffering

Feb 3, 2012, 3:29 PM
I will tell why your bill is so high for having the Iphone 5. 😛
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kissesssss

Feb 3, 2012, 5:56 PM
washes cars and does laundry
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dilligaff1

Feb 7, 2012, 2:12 PM
It dispences Charmin 😲
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melrhodes

Feb 4, 2012, 8:37 AM
$50 Premium Data add-on on top of your plan 😛
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Tomdg07

Feb 6, 2012, 2:52 PM
- The touch screen is a deadly accurate scale for weighing out small baggies of ____.

- You can enter what the substance is and it will give you accurate prices based on gps for your area based on current supply/demand.

- Instantly uploads head shots of all local law enforcement officers, including undercover officers, so you don't have to worry about who you are selling too.

- Based on gps map will show local hot-spots best for setting up shop and let you know about any gang owned territory so you don't step on anyone else's turf.
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Jellz

Feb 6, 2012, 5:13 PM
would actually be very, very useful 😳 for certain people.
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Tomdg07

Feb 7, 2012, 10:12 AM
ya... you know, for certain people...
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kissesssss

Feb 6, 2012, 5:20 PM
has a warm moist app for that
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Fredd

Feb 7, 2012, 2:15 PM
will it go to the kitchen and make sammiches, too? Then we REALLY might have sumthin!
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Fredd

Feb 7, 2012, 10:42 AM
It slices, dices, chops, mashes, smashes - and julliennes but you gotta hit them suckers just right!

The new iPhone Sledge-O-Matic model!
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crybabycry

Feb 7, 2012, 12:43 PM
the iphone 5 now will be running on the android operating system called 2.3.4.530495903478 prechewed gum found under my desk.
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Fredd

Feb 7, 2012, 1:53 PM
🤣

We need "like " buttons for posts like this!
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melrhodes

Feb 7, 2012, 2:02 PM
5Ghz Processor
5GB per second download speeds
50Megapixel camera both for front and back
only 0.5cm thick


only one downside...
the battery

its a car battery!!! 😳
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Steve Jobes

Feb 7, 2012, 2:06 PM
is beautiful!
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