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things you wish you could say to customers

kissesssss

Dec 11, 2011, 5:16 PM
use a nug when you rob people buddy
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Jellz

Dec 11, 2011, 5:29 PM
get the fourstar out.
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fleurdemiel

Dec 11, 2011, 6:13 PM
WILL NOT


WILL NEVER

MUST REFUSE


TO EMPATHIZE WITH YOUR NEED FOR A PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY YOU CAN BARELY UNDERSTAND, YOU SSI TOTING UNEDUCATED LAZY ENTITLED F***.
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kissesssss

Dec 11, 2011, 6:55 PM
๐Ÿ˜Ž
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Tygalilie13

Dec 11, 2011, 7:36 PM
That was awesome.
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fleurdemiel

Dec 12, 2011, 5:49 PM
every word. They can all suck eggs and other things.
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Tygalilie13

Dec 13, 2011, 5:39 PM
I will back you up on that.
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hobble

Dec 12, 2011, 8:31 PM
Then I offer them a decent free phone and CLOSE.
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Iove2transfercustomers

Dec 23, 2011, 4:35 PM
i'd say this is one of the best rants in this thread.
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island4prez

Dec 12, 2011, 7:58 PM
You are what's wrong with America.
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Jellz

Dec 13, 2011, 8:14 AM
a ****ing yes or no question, give me a real answer.
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Jellz

Dec 13, 2011, 2:51 PM
๐Ÿ˜ก
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Mossberg

Dec 13, 2011, 8:20 AM
I really have to poop.
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Thor713

Dec 13, 2011, 5:53 PM
C: I wanna ask you a question.

ME: I DONT WANT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION I HATE YOU!
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Tygalilie13

Dec 13, 2011, 6:22 PM
If you would stop talking I could explain to you that you are making things way more difficult than they need to be and also solve your problem. So please, STFU.

You're still not listening to me.

I give up.

*click*
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Jellz

Dec 14, 2011, 8:47 AM
I'll understand you better. ๐Ÿคจ
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Fredd

Dec 14, 2011, 1:23 PM
I am sorry, but you cannot have a smartphone, as you are obviously not smarter than that device and you would develop an inferiority complex. We do not want to expose our company to that liability.
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Fredd

Dec 16, 2011, 12:28 PM
Oh, and yes you can have a blue tooth for free. Open wide while I get my blue magic marker.
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foxiangel5

Dec 14, 2011, 6:01 PM
1. you are a cheap pos!
2. I didn't break your phone and you didn't NEED the insurance so TOUGH SH!!
3. You didn't buy your phone here after all the work I did for you and now you need help but the corporate store is "rude"? TOO BAD!
4. You want a free phone? Here ya go. Oh its too simple? Break out the check book!
5. You think you're special because you been with us for X years? Guess what, you're not. Oh and your bill of $60 is past due 60 days...


There are many more I'm just drawing a blank... ๐Ÿ™‚
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wire5

Dec 15, 2011, 1:30 AM
Me: Thank you for calling... Blah blah blah... can I get your name?

Customer: Yes my phone won't turn on and it.... (long list of things going wrong)


Me: Nice to meet you "Yes My phone..." Is it alright if I just call you "Yes?"
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Da_Bonehead

Dec 15, 2011, 4:54 PM
Your phone is not broken, you just carried on a 30 minute conversation, on your phone, after you walked in the door.
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wire5

Dec 15, 2011, 1:35 AM
"Ma'am/Sir I am really stoned right now.... carry on"
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kissesssss

Dec 15, 2011, 4:34 PM
๐Ÿคฃ
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wire5

Dec 20, 2011, 1:59 AM
Well... Its almost always true. And I feel they should be made aware.
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Da_Bonehead

Dec 15, 2011, 4:53 PM
You have not been a customer for x-years, your mother has. you have been leaching off of her plan for x-years, are 40 years old and had your plan for 3 months. I will not give you a Galaxy S phone for free.
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keshakho

Dec 15, 2011, 4:57 PM
You had your time. Now, its my turn.You shut up when I talk and dont move.
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Thor713

Dec 15, 2011, 5:46 PM
1) No I will not wipe your golden a** hole.

2)You will not get an iphone for free.

3)Your phone has been suspended 22 times out of your 24 month contract why should we give you anything at all?

4)Your are spending $400+ on these iphones while I am barely making it paycheck to paycheck and you are going to whine about a stupid activation fee?!

5)The worst thing that has ever happened to you is that your not eligible for upgrade and X company wont give it to you early? You need to get out more.
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Tygalilie13

Dec 15, 2011, 8:14 PM
Please figure out at least a little bit of what you want before you call.

Pretty sure uhhhhhhhh uhdakjkdkjagdunno..is not gonna help me in the least bit.
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Tygalilie13

Dec 16, 2011, 12:56 AM
F*** you for calling -----------

My name is I don't give a $#*!, to better assist you please listen to the instructions on shoving a stick up your bum. Don't forget to tell me your entire life story, and please don't leave out how we can further F*** up your life today.

Thank you again for calling. Now please proceed to go $#*!&% yourself, and have a nice day.

Yeah that should do it.
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kissesssss

Dec 16, 2011, 2:15 PM
ftw ๐Ÿ˜Ž
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Tygalilie13

Dec 19, 2011, 4:45 PM
Thought it was appropriate.
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dilligaff1

Dec 22, 2011, 1:45 PM
Custy just called in to cancell. Said has been trying to. told him effective today. he said thank you and i gave close ๐Ÿ˜Ž
What I wanted too say, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND ENJOY THAT ETF ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ
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kissesssss

Dec 16, 2011, 2:06 PM
What do you want? For me to apoligise for my existance? Believe me I am sorry for my existance
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kissesssss

Dec 16, 2011, 5:28 PM
๐Ÿ˜ณ
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famoussasjohn

Dec 20, 2011, 10:30 AM
I don't care that you are upset. I don't care for any emotion you have.

I wish you would listen to me when I am speaking to you in regards to your issue, because I don't feel like I should repeat my entire solution to you again just because you got distracted at a shiny object.

Please don't tell me a whole life story about anything, I don't care, nor am I listening.

I hope you never reproduce, because your kids will be just as stupid as you.

You should have been swallowed.

Die in a fire.
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Iove2transfercustomers

Dec 21, 2011, 1:27 PM
who gives a f*** that you've been with us for 10 years? you think that gives you a right to be a demanding b****? tell me, what other company or business do you call or go to, and just demand free sh**? do you go to the grocery store and tell the cashier that you've been shopping there for 10 years, so you should get a cart full of groceries for free? do you go to the gas station and ask for free gas because you've been a customer for 10 years? what about your electric company, dealership, or rent? of course you don't, so stop being a prick. you're not happy with us? take your *** somewhere else. ๐Ÿคจ
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Fredd

Dec 21, 2011, 1:45 PM
You say you are goping to move your account if we do not kowtow to your ridiculous demands?
OK, here is the toll-free number for (ATT/VZN/Sprint/T-Mo) customer service!
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dilligaff1

Dec 21, 2011, 10:14 PM
ME: Thank you for Calli...

Custy: Can you hold on ๐Ÿ˜ณ

Me: Ahhh NO "CLICK" ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

or,

Custy: Hello are you still there.... hello are you there...

Yes One minute while I access you...

Custy: Are You there

Me: No I JUST EFFIN HUNG UP ON YOU!!!! This is a recording ๐Ÿคฃ @$$ Hole
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Tygalilie13

Dec 21, 2011, 11:42 PM
Thank you for calling __________
my name is ______
and (since you don't know how to follow prompts in the IVR no matter how simple they are) HOW MAY I ******* direct your call.
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dilligaff1

Dec 22, 2011, 2:02 PM
Custy just called in to cancell. Said has been trying to. told him effective today. he said thank you and i gave close ๐Ÿ˜Ž
What I wanted too say, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND ENJOY THAT ETF ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ
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Tygalilie13

Dec 22, 2011, 6:57 PM
Record that ish.

I wanna hear it.
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Jellz

Dec 22, 2011, 3:32 PM
You don't even know? Do the Internet a favor, and turn off your computer."

-.-
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ATTDRONEV2.5

Dec 22, 2011, 11:22 PM
and then drop it in a tub of water..preferable while you are standing in it
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melrhodes

Dec 23, 2011, 7:45 AM
No contract, no free phone here you idiot! ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
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famoussasjohn

Dec 27, 2011, 11:27 AM
Indian - Give me a free car charger and I will buy from you..
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Iove2transfercustomers

Dec 23, 2011, 4:36 PM
to get my stamp of approval for epic threads
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kissesssss

Dec 23, 2011, 6:15 PM
does that mean I'm no longer a noob? do I get an award?
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Iove2transfercustomers

Dec 26, 2011, 1:36 PM
i would say you are no longer a noob ๐Ÿ™‚
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famoussasjohn

Dec 27, 2011, 11:26 AM
In order to receive said award...get on your knees...make face like - ๐Ÿ˜ฒ ..you know the rest. ๐Ÿ™‚
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kissesssss

Dec 23, 2011, 6:16 PM
kisssssing your arse
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dilligaff1

Dec 25, 2011, 9:26 PM
OMG!!! My Supe just took an ESC Call and said to the Custy, "So You Think you got this "BAD ASS PHONE" and ..........!!!! OMG !!! My supe is the ISH!!!! And she picks me up at the bar before work!!! ๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿคฃ
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kissesssss

Dec 26, 2011, 6:30 PM
that's awesome
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dilligaff1

Dec 27, 2011, 11:43 AM
And your guess is!!!!
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dilligaff1

Dec 27, 2011, 1:57 PM
One state over. East!!! ๐Ÿ˜Ž
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kissesssss

Dec 27, 2011, 9:59 PM
into an illustrated book
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Jellz

Dec 28, 2011, 8:06 AM
๐Ÿคจ
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dilligaff1

Dec 28, 2011, 11:41 PM
What one of our supes DID say to a custy. Lady worked for the Oakland Raiders in PR and said she needs her text working before the season was over. Supe said Lady, "Your Season IS OVER"!!!!! ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ
Custy Hung Up ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ
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kissesssss

Dec 29, 2011, 4:15 PM
I love it
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Jellz

Jan 3, 2012, 3:27 PM
If you want real phone service, you have to pay a little more than what you pay for fake phone service.

... When people complain about how much more expensive we are than MetroPCS or Straight Talk.
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techrepgirl

Jan 4, 2012, 11:16 AM
I'd like to be able to tell my customers that throwing your phone at someone is NOT a malfunction with the phone and if you are that damned childish maybe we should try to locate an old jitterbug for you, after you file an insurance claim because we don't replace devices that fall victim to childish temper tantrums!
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