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Beware: The Babbler
So I've done my greeting, asked you what you need help with, and then you proceed to spew forth an unending string of words explaining why you are calling, 99% of those words are unnecessary, driving up my call-handling time.... In the very moment I hear you desperately gasping for air readying yourself to hit me with more idiocy, you windbag, I take this rare opportunity to explain to you that I cannot help you and that I need to transfer you to another department.
Depending upon my rage level, I will either
a) Waste another 19 minutes of your life and mine listening to you flap your lips about things that don't even matter, and THEN transfer you, or
b) Reach for the HOLD button, bringing me pleasure as I place you on hold as I h...
(continues)
...
drive me nuts more than any other. Almost every time I get one that I need to transfer, I wedge in that I need to xfer them for further help and they say "Great! That's fine because I was just calling in to..." and go on for 5 more minutes repeating themselves.
...
Currently loving on these customers, my handle time is too low and I'm in all sorts of trouble for being too efficient.
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While you proceed to repeat yourself a hundred times over:
me: "Yes, I understand, and I'm very sorry but I'm gonna need to transfer you to ---"
C: "blah blah blah repeat repeat repeat."
Me: "Yes, I know but---"
C: "I'm to stooooopidddd to realize that I'm wasting my own time, and in about two minutes after you've told me for the umpteenth time that you can't DO ANYTHING for me, I'm going to realize such, and then yell at you for wating my time"
Que mute button. *S-H-U-T T-H-E E-F-F U-P A-N-D L-E-T M-E F-I-N-I-S-H!!!!!!!"
/end rant
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