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What I wish I could say to the customer sometime...

Admiral_Ackbar

Apr 26, 2011, 11:05 AM
"Quit being an A-hole, you A-hole!"

Either that, or

"Stop whining, yooooouu sonnn of a B****" in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice.
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me12

Apr 26, 2011, 11:10 AM
Or when they whine about ish not being fair

"Well life isn't fair, b!tch, SUCK IT!" 🙄
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callcenterrep69

Apr 26, 2011, 11:26 AM
Hehe...this one would be EPiC 🤣
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medic6037

Apr 26, 2011, 11:48 AM
HAd a lady that wanted me to transfer her to the CEO. I said ok, let get him right on the line, put her on hold and when i came back she didn't even notice. I felt good about that
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me12

Apr 26, 2011, 12:11 PM
LOL,
thats a gem! 🤣
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Daniel Dc5

Apr 26, 2011, 11:54 AM
Why so mad?

I say things like this.

"I can understand how you feel, I would like to apologize as I do not make the policy's I only enforce them"

I sell DIRECTV, I use this when ppl complain about buying packages with channels they do not want.

"Ordering a DIRECTV package is like going to the zoo, you do not get a discount for only wanting to see the lions and zebras and not the giraffe and monkeys"

I get to say a lot of funny stuff at my job lol
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famoussasjohn

Apr 27, 2011, 12:52 PM
Wow is that really approved scripting? 🤣
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soundwave

Apr 27, 2011, 12:54 PM
I think i saw it in their new tv ads 😉
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famoussasjohn

Apr 27, 2011, 1:00 PM
Who the eff writes this crap?

It's kind of the like the scripting we had when Sprint introduced the $10 premium data charge.

It said something like
"The premium data charge is a lot like a first class ticket for data." I just looked at my sup and said, "Is this really the best you guys came up with?"
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Admiral_Ackbar

Apr 27, 2011, 1:23 PM
"The premium data charge is a lot like a first class ticket for data."

Because when you use our data services, your speed really TAKE OFF!!!!

Harrrrrrdy Harrr Harrr Harrrr!!!

🙄
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famoussasjohn

Apr 27, 2011, 2:20 PM
🤣

Here's the scripting 🤣

"Think of this charge as the price for paying for a first-class seat on an airplane. The rich data experience that comes with EVO ownership puts users in a class by themselves."
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Poking Pixie

Apr 27, 2011, 4:16 PM
Specifically, the "Douchebag" class. 🤣
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lh1031

Apr 26, 2011, 1:48 PM
When customers call in about policy changes I just wanna say:

"Okay, and?"
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RobbieJnn

Apr 26, 2011, 4:16 PM
"you are NOT loyal, I am not the entire company so dont come talk to me like its my fault when your bill is due and your brat children have ran it up with texting and data that they 'will not do'. You WILL pay the fees and prices that everyone else does, and dont cut me off after you asked me a question or I will push that imaginary button that cuts your service on and off. Now...what phone are you interested in today?

oh ya. its texts not texas..dumba**"
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olderthandirt

Apr 26, 2011, 4:27 PM
Sir unfortunatly we do not make the phones so they are not ours to just give away. I understand the frustration but if you drop your phone in the lake while fishing and being drunk that might be an indication that your are as stupid as a door post.
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Poking Pixie

Apr 27, 2011, 1:18 PM
No sir, you don't get a loyalty discount if you're not signing a new contract. Our company doesn't give an ish about you if you're not under contract.
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cynicaldreams

Apr 27, 2011, 2:34 PM
If you want a loyalty discount, you have to prove that loyalty to us by signing that contract.

It's like if you have a girlfriend you want to get jiggy with, but she won't do it unless you put a ring on it. Except we do the screwing.
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soundwave

Apr 27, 2011, 2:47 PM
this might be the best analogy ive heard all day
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Poking Pixie

Apr 27, 2011, 4:16 PM
Yah, that was beautiful. 🤣
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