Shop Talk
Questions You Hate
1. "What do I have to do to get a phone?"
"Give me your ID so I can tell you how much of a deposit you'll have to pay."
2. "Do you have to have good credit to get a phone?"
See #1
3. "Can you check my credit?"
See #1
4. "Can you check to see if I can get a phone?"
See #1
5. "Can I ask you a question?"
"You just did." (Sometimes I actually say this.)
6. "What's your best plan?"
"It depends."
7. "What's your best phone?"
"It depends."
8. "What's your cheapest plan?"
"Well...
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i hate all of those and i hate the one "can you do something about this?" which follows some story about how we screwed up such and such or that they went over thier minutes and claims they never go over thier minutes and we must be charging them for something they didn't do. oh yea, and i hate the straightfoward approach "can you give me a credit for it?"
A. My advice.
2. Q. Why is my bill so high?
A. You didnt pay your bill. You whent over your min. You used your phone when it said, "ROAMING MODE Additional charges will apply". "Do you accept?" (yes) Connecting. You didnt want to pay for a data plan but still downloaded everything you could into your phone! And last but not least you call 411 10 times a day!
3. Q. Why doesent my phone work in my house?
A. You mean in your cave?
4. Q. Why do I have to pay a deposit?
A. Becouse you dont know how to pay your bills.
5. Q. I broke my phone and do not have any insurance. What do I do?
A. Buy a new one at full price plus upgrade charges.
6. Q. Can I make payments on my deposit?
A. ...
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Anything that starts with "how much be.." or "what y'alls cheapes...."
Sure you can. Let me plant my foot in your rear and give you a 1-boot discount.
"Whats your cheapest rate plan?"
Oh the cheapest? You mean the plan that you will go over your minutes and come in screaming and claiming there is no way you used 400 minutes and blame it on me?
"Why do I have to pay tax on a free phone?"
Gotta love the state ruling on taxes. You may not pay for the phone BUT there is still tax on the full retail price. Look up directive 93-9.
"Why can't you fix my phone I bought online? You are Verizon aren't you?"
What makes you think that an auth retailer will even TOUCH a phone you didn't buy from them? I don't buy a big screen TV from best buy and ask circuit city to fix it now do...
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I can't believe that I have to pay $179.00 for a phone that was free.
You treat new customers better than you treat existing customers.
Hear that one all the time. I usually reply with "So you don't want $150 for free? If you don't want it I'll take it."
"THIRTY DOLLORS for two car chargers.... I'm going to walmart" haha love that one!!
"Why don't I get a camera Phone for free?"
"My Phone stopped working can I get a new one"...Did you get it wet? "No".. DId you drop it?? "NO"..Do you have insurance on the phone? "No" Then im sorry I cannot just give you a new phone..."Thats ok because I smashed it on a rock anyways"....walks away mad.. She was some little 16 yr old brat who wanted to lie and show me her boobs to get a new phone.. Not here hunny!!
Lets not forget this question..."Hey this is verizon right?? Do you have Nextels #???"
and I hate customers who...
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I just say, it is not our fault you moved!
"I like this phone (Cingular), can I activate it with Verizon??" NO
"Why Not?" DIFFERENT TECHNOLOGY
"HUH?"
Um, so you don't have to buy $400 dollar phone. These types of things destroy my faith in the future of civilization. π²
a. you went over your minutes. for the 4th month in a row. you refused a rate plan change all the previous three months, and you're refusing it now. you have mad direct bill charges, and hrm, you went to Canada? Yeah, those dates are here too, and thats why you're being charged roaming on a nation wide plan. You left the nation.
q. How can I get out of this contract without any fees?
a. To be honest, you'd need to sprout wings, turn around in a circle three times, point your cell phone antenna to the sky during a hurricane and survive a lightning strike in order to get a new phone out of me. Use XBM or lockline.
q. how many minutes does a text message use?
a. all of them. /sarcasm
I haven't been on th...
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q. How can I get out of this contract without any fees?
a. To be honest, you'd need to sprout wings, turn around in a circle three times, point your cell phone antenna to the sky during a hurricane and survive a lightning strike in order to get a new phone out of me. Use XBM or lockline.
bahahahahahahahahaha π€£
C: (looks at watch, it is 6:5π "Great! I was hoping to get a smartphone which I will be porting from *****, cancel a line still in contract, return this accessory I bought at another store, AND activate a home phone."
it works on gsm digital and satellite π³ π
"Why am I here?" π’
1. Where's the bathroom?
2. Can i use your phone or phonebook?
3. Do you know where _____ is?
and my questions are...
Do i look like "mall information"?
Why am i not getting paid to be mall information?
Mr. customer I can see that you are still wet from your swim accross the border, but come on.....
Iselltheshitoutofphones said:
"Do you speka da spanish?" Yes I do as a matter of fact and am almost fluent. However I won't becuase you are in the United Staes. Let me go to Mexico or Spain and use my English.
Mr. customer I can see that you are still wet from your swim accross the border, but come on.....
if there was a way to transfer money through phonescoop, i'd send you a dollar. i have the exact same feelings. i work in southern california.
I am in Texas, so I almost have it as bad as you do. I really didn't meen it in a bad way, just wanted to vent.
Besides their social security numbers are for tax purposes only......not to waste out time with a deposit credit check.
Ok, I am done.
Will
tienne telefono aura? si?
(I can't spell in spanish to save my life)
It has been one of those days.......I am normally a loving amd compassionate person.
Iselltheshitoutofphones said:
"Do you speka da spanish?" Yes I do as a matter of fact and am almost fluent. However I won't becuase you are in the United Staes. Let me go to Mexico or Spain and use my English.
Mr. customer I can see that you are still wet from your swim accross the border, but come on.....
I'm in nor-cal and I feel for ya! We get the same thing but with every language in the book. After all, San Jose is the SECOND most diverse city in the US only behind New York city. I would LOVE to go to other countries and try to get by knowing ONLY english, IT WON'T HAPPEN! But it's ok here! In Cali. you can even get the driving test in EVERY language! The street signs are still in english (for no...
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If I've had a long day I usually start pointing people in the wrong direction or telling them to go look at the #$&% map that they walked past to ask me.
It's either
a) not charged
b) you don't know where the power button is
c) actually not your fault and the phone isn't working.
It's usually not C.
Customer"Is this (enter different carrier name here)?"
Me: "No, this is (carrier name)."
Customer: "Oh, can you connect me to (other carrier)."
Me: "Okay no problem"
Makes you want to laugh and cry all at the same time.
Don't have a live bar and pay for my phone so screw those 4 Demonstration points.
Explained 3 features that create a media bundle thanks for the 2 points keep the 4 because its told to discount them together.
Never a dull moment....
OH please make the shoppers shower because she stunk
I also got marked off for not demo'ing. We also don't have a live bar and they don't pay my phone bill so as the soup nizi would say "NO DEMO FOR YOU!"
Customer:"I brought this ad and it says this phone is free! (SE P910i)"
Me: "Mam, thats not this stores ad."
HELLO???
That ad belongs to an independent store, that want you to sign up for a family line (of 3) to get 1 phone free. Have her calculate the add-a-lines a month + taxes and fees then explain how that phone comes up to being free.
πΏ
freephones4all said:
π "Can you take a look at my phone? I got it wet." The customer then hands me the phone. Next line:"I used the bathroom, and dropped my phone in the toilet." WHAT THE HELL?!?!? Do not put something in a bowl of pee and hand it to me! I no longer touch phones till after a customer tells me what wrong.
My favorite was back when we could do lockline claims in the store a customer came in with a ziplock bag with a phone in it and said that lockline said that she HAD to bring the phone into the store to do a claim. She opened the bag and the smell of POOP filled my store. She had told lockline what happened but they told her to bring in the phone anyway. REAL FUNNY LOCKLINE. I sent the...
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They are for "usage."
What are these text messaging charges?
They are for text messaging.
Why is there a late fee?
Because you were late.
Any more self-explanatory questions?
i sometimes ask them blunty i dont know do you go to burger king and ask where mc donalds is?
What is the phone number? I DONT KNOW π
Ummm ok. what is the account number? DONT KNOW that either π
Whats your name? OH OH I know this one, I am Kim Smith but this is not my phone π
Ok whos phone is it? my boyfriends cusins wife π
what is her name? I dont know π
this is Nextel isnt it?
NO its Verizon
Ok never minde
π π π
A: to verify your information that we gather.
Can you still tell me if i am approved?
A: Do you have a debit or credit card?
BTW i am a tmobile telesales.
I work in Cingular telesales. In order to verify information? Are you serious?
So a question that I hate is "do you have a credit or debit card, just to verify your information?"
The answer.
If I did , I wouldn't give it out over the phone for "verification", so no sale for you.
Lots of places.
'before we continue i have to let you know that this call may be recorded or monitored'
A: well dawgg you only made a partial payment on a past due balance.this aint layawy If i gave you $2.50 for a $5.00 rock and not pay you for another 90 days? Stop spending all your money on cases of 40s and cartons of black and milds for your baby mammas gettin out of jail party. its the 3 one this month.
well i didnt say that but yall know i wanted to.i dont want to be a slave to the kevlar undershirt
As for credit or debit card question, well, if I get a credit card number, I usually have to write it down before I type it in just to make sure I have it in case my teleposss mess up.
Now, I know what I do with my copy of YOUR credit card info. We have the confidential document disposal boxes.
I dont know what YOU do with MY info.
So tell me o wise one, how is that safer?
But the truth is I dont care about needing a credit card. I wouldnt give the number out anyway.
You dont need a credit card at a store as long as you gots the cash.
So no sale for you.
A sale for somebody e...
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Well, Do you have there number?
Why is your companies name so close the Theirs?
well junior its because i built the tower network b4 opeing this here kiosk and i intentionally excluded your little burg!! π
A: Because you initialed next to, signed, & agreed to this condition on your contract.
Q: My contract has been out for a year. Why do I have to give a 30 day notice?
A: We don't turn your phones off when the contract expires, thus, you go on a month to month basis & are still required to adhere to the contract.
Q: Why should I pay a bill if I haven't had any service for 3 months?
A: Because your service was suspended due to non-payment & you never requested to cancel & give your 30 day notice. It will be going to an outside collection agency soon if a payment is not made. You are still charged for monthly access until the account is cancelled.
Q: I may want to cancel in a few mo...
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-Because your phone is older than a year and it's a 1 yr manufacturer warranty on it.
"Can you look up a store location?"
Um, no, try your local yellow pages.
and of course..
"Can you check my credit over the phone? I want to go to the store, but don't want to go if I have a deposit."
Yeah..um..click.
usually realted to a technical problem. π³
"WHERE DOES IT SAY YOU ARE AN AGENT!"
on the door in size 200 font.
"SO YOU GUYS ARENT EVEN CINGULAR AT ALL, YOU'RE JUST AN IMITATION!?"
does ronald own all the mcdonalds...
s710aSE said:
my favorite by far...
"WHERE DOES IT SAY YOU ARE AN AGENT!"
on the door in size 200 font.
"SO YOU GUYS ARENT EVEN CINGULAR AT ALL, YOU'RE JUST AN IMITATION!?"
does ronald own all the mcdonalds...
I asked a cust once if she went to a T-Mobile Corp store or an authorized dealer, and she asked in an irritated tone how she was supposed to know. "Because it says T-Mobile Authorized Dealer on the sign."
my favorite by far...
"WHERE DOES IT SAY YOU ARE AN AGENT!"
on the door in size 200 font.
"SO YOU GUYS ARENT EVEN CINGULAR AT ALL, YOU'RE JUST AN IMITATION!?"
does ronald own all the mcdonalds...
LilShorty said
I asked a cust once if she went to a T-Mobile Corp store or an authorized dealer, and she asked in an irritated tone how she was supposed to know. "Because it says T-Mobile Authorized Dealer on the sign."
The one that I hate is "Is this a corporate store?"
That just means thatin all likelyhood that they had a bad experience with one of the authorized dealers nearby. And got sent here for me to fix the problem. Either by care or the agent themselves.
(usually an older person) "my phone doesn't ring why not?" can you make calls? "no" what happens when you try "the phone doesn't do anything" ok can you power your phone on so i can make a test call "it won't power on" ok whens the last time you charged it "how do you do that??" do you think that its going to work on solar power?? where you born in this century??
and of course when someone calls in because they went over there mins on a 29.99 plan, "but i'm on the unlimited 29.99 plan" then your not with our company, actually i dont' think that you are with ...
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Erin601 said:
ok so i might be a little rusty at this (i've been out of hell . . . i mean working for att/cingular for 2 months now, but out of all questions the dumbest i've heard were
(usually an older person) "my phone doesn't ring why not?" can you make calls? "no" what happens when you try "the phone doesn't do anything" ok can you power your phone on so i can make a test call "it won't power on" ok whens the last time you charged it "how do you do that??" do you think that its going to work on solar power?? where you born in this century??
The oldest person born this century probably hasn't made it into kindergarten yet.
meβΉοΈin my head) No, you can take your old phone and beat yourself over the head with it.
(to the customer) of course.
customer:I don't want to verify anything on my account, I just want speak with a supervisor, NOW.
Me: Well, mam/sir, i need to verify this information and inform my supervisor of what is going on before they can take the call.
customer: why?
me: (in my head) because you idiot they can't fix the problem without knowing what it is, and they have better things to do than to sit here and verify your information and have you go into a long explanation about something that I could've told them in professional terms. which take alot less longer.
(to the customer)- Because it is comp...
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"No, but you can on your time. Quit wasting mine.. "
"When is my bill due?"
"When you get it tard. Pay it on-time for once. Magically your monthly bill will go down $5. Waiting won't make it smaller or go away."
I hate when they call wanting a phone number to anything else. This is not 411, but I'd be happy to take your money and give you that info.
"When are you getting the iPhone?"
"I heard you're getting the iPhone soon, do you have one i can look at?"
"If i get this phone now, is Verizon going to let me upgrade again in January when you get the iPhone?"
Ugh...
OrionsVantage said:
I can not believe that nobody mentioned this question.
"When are you getting the iPhone?"
"I heard you're getting the iPhone soon, do you have one i can look at?"
"If i get this phone now, is Verizon going to let me upgrade again in January when you get the iPhone?"
Ugh...
I'd answer:
1 - 2011 if all the paperwork goes thru
2 - demo's wil be shipped 2011 if all the paperwork goes thru
3 - Yes π€£
If I decide to move to Mexico, I promise that I'll learn Spanish and muddle through it until I'm fluent. I wouldn't expect the whole f'ing country to change all of their system to accomodate my English.
Learn the language or move the hell back.