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Best one liners from Customers

CinBellguy12

Oct 16, 2009, 2:36 PM
I do not like 8800 it's just to big for my hand.

Can the goverment trace this phone?

I do not want to put this in my name the cops are looking for me.

any others?
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ecycled

Oct 16, 2009, 2:40 PM
""I do not want to put this in my name the cops are looking for me.""

I always expected this but never got it. Freaking great one liner.

Mostly the traceable Q's are to avoid getting caught or to do the cheating.

I don't want this prepaid phone in my name. I'm dating this girl on the side.
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Lanae

Oct 16, 2009, 2:45 PM
C: 'Do you sell phones here?'

I look around at the 20 some odd phones on the walls...

ME: 'no...we just like to show you what they look like...'
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ecycled

Oct 16, 2009, 2:47 PM
Lanae said:
C: 'Do you sell phones here?'

I look around at the 20 some odd phones on the walls...

ME: 'no...we just like to show you what they look like...'


Oh my freaking gosh!!! Seriously I get that all the time. What the heck are these ppl smoking. Sign says ATT Wireless and every wall in the store has at least 15 phones on it (except the glass window).
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CinBellguy12

Oct 16, 2009, 2:48 PM
I always answer nope.... we give them away! would you like one?
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ecycled

Oct 16, 2009, 2:50 PM
CinBellguy12 said:
I always answer nope.... we give them away! would you like one?


Nice.
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Lanae

Oct 16, 2009, 2:52 PM
Yea, some custys think that since it says free...it means 'free'!

C: This says 'free'! Can I have one?

Me: Sure, all you have to do is sign a 2 yr contract...

C: Seriously?!? But it says 'free'!

Me: Umm...yea...with contract
(Silly customers...tricks are for kids)
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CinBellguy12

Oct 16, 2009, 3:07 PM
HAHa gottcha do really think we just give this stuff away and by the way the reason it is free is cause the phone sucks and would probally make better use as a paper wieght.
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Lanae

Oct 16, 2009, 3:42 PM
I agree whole heartedly 😁
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Crapbag

Oct 17, 2009, 1:26 PM
After signing a single line contract.

"So don't I get one free?"
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kendrat

Mar 31, 2010, 5:24 PM
LOL
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bigmike99s

Oct 17, 2009, 12:51 PM
I always love it cause we have 25 phones on the wall.. also we have 1 phone playing mobile tv at all times.... then they come in and look at the tv then come to me and ask that stupid questions do you sell phones here.... dude you just spent 10 minutes staring at them are you serious???
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ollywolf

Oct 16, 2009, 3:03 PM
What does the wall charger do?
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CinBellguy12

Oct 16, 2009, 3:07 PM
Duh it charges the wall geez we all know that.
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ollywolf

Oct 16, 2009, 3:14 PM
I couldn't believe my ears when the customer asked me that.
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ecycled

Oct 16, 2009, 3:44 PM
Insanity.
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ollywolf

Oct 16, 2009, 3:53 PM
Same customer asked me what the car charge did too. That was the day I came home with a big red spot on my forhead
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Drayton30

Oct 16, 2009, 4:42 PM
Are you Indian?
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CinBellguy12

Oct 16, 2009, 4:44 PM
Who?
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Drayton30

Oct 16, 2009, 6:35 PM
The girl with the red spot on her forehead.
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Avaya

Mar 28, 2010, 11:16 PM
🤣
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misst2009

Oct 16, 2009, 5:33 PM
do you sell criket here?

i am going to cancell

fix my phone ( and the throw it at you) 😡
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ecycled

Oct 16, 2009, 5:37 PM
misst2009 said:
do you sell criket here?

i am going to cancell

fix my phone ( and the throw it at you) 😡


hahaha Cancel.....here's a quarter call someone who cares, on a payphone b/c thats probably all you can operate.
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CinBellguy12

Oct 16, 2009, 5:42 PM
I love when threatin to cancel.... I look at them and sure thing where should i send yor final bill. Then I till them that once i cancel the line they will loose that number and that you will have no service starting immedetly. then they so well wait. works everytime.
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NEPats726420

Oct 17, 2009, 2:02 PM
ecycled said:


hahaha Cancel.....here's a quarter call someone who cares, on a payphone b/c thats probably all you can operate.


good luck finding a payphone that only costs a quarter
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NEPats726420

Oct 17, 2009, 2:01 PM
the wall, duh!!
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matonater

Oct 16, 2009, 6:41 PM
customer comes in slams his phone on the counter and yells I dont get signal where I live

I said "give my your address and ill come there and build you a tower"
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Crapbag

Oct 17, 2009, 1:22 PM
Will dat bluetoof work with my fone?
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matonater

Oct 17, 2009, 2:25 PM
no sir your phone needs a redtoof
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OldPhone

Mar 30, 2010, 8:55 AM
How about a customer complaining that she always drops her calls at one specific place, waaaay out in the woods. Then another customer who was standing nearby turns to me and says "I have some tools in my truck, let's go build the B*#$*@tch a tower so she shuts up"
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meeshxsmith

Oct 16, 2009, 6:56 PM
Me: "Are you calling to report the phone lost, stolen, damaged or malfunctiong?"

Cx: "Yes."
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ecycled

Oct 16, 2009, 7:10 PM
Classic, no paying attention Cx.

Yes, hello, my phone was not making calls, got dropped on the ground while I was trying, stolen off the ground, and now I've lost it.
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ikissgirls

Oct 17, 2009, 12:59 PM
wow. actual cx words? 😳
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ecycled

Oct 17, 2009, 2:32 PM
Not exactly but pretty close. Its been a few years since that one. It was pretty much: I need warranty, the phone got broken, I lost it but found it, and then it was stolen... and I want to do warranty because it wasn't working right to begin with.
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ikissgirls

Oct 17, 2009, 2:42 PM
wow. i would have reached through the phone and punched them in the face for talking stupidly. lol
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jeffatt

Oct 17, 2009, 12:32 PM
The sign outside says AT&T. The door says AT&T and has a big blue globe on it. All the posters and stuff in the store is orange and blue and say AT&T on them...

why on Earth would a person want to come into this store and ask about Verizon?...and this same person will get mad that I won't help them with their Verizon bill...
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ikissgirls

Oct 17, 2009, 12:56 PM
I can't go to a store because I'm on house arrest.
😕
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Crapbag

Oct 17, 2009, 1:22 PM
I can't make phone calls on my phone.

Have you tried pulling the battery?

Well, not right now. I'm using it to call you.
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ikissgirls

Oct 17, 2009, 2:11 PM
when i was in cust svc, i had to do tier 1 troubleshooting and a hard reset was standard.. anyway- i can't tell you how many customers would tell me they WEREN'T on the phone we were TS, but after I told them to take out the battery the call dropped. 🤣
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NEPats726420

Oct 17, 2009, 2:12 PM
🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
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Crapbag

Oct 17, 2009, 1:23 PM
I need to make a warranty exchange, but my phone was stolen. It wasn't working right however before it was stolen.
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retrocool

Mar 29, 2010, 10:00 PM
🤣

Never heard that one before.... that's good.
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matonater

Oct 17, 2009, 2:48 PM
C my son drowned and the phone was in his pocket can I get a refund?


M do you have the phone?


C no.


M then no you cant have a refund.
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matonater

Oct 17, 2009, 3:14 PM
retired customer was bitching about money he then told me he wishes god would just take him. he was very serious. I wanted to tell him if he didnt stop complaining it was going to me not god that takes his life
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CinBellguy12

Oct 17, 2009, 3:35 PM
me: hi how are you today waht can i do for you?

Cust: Nothing just looking.

Me: what is it you are looking for?

Cust: nothing just looking.

Me: under my breathe ( then why you staring at my phones, owwww thats right you think you know everything).


why do customers think they always no more than reps? I do this for living take my adivce.
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MrGoofball

Oct 17, 2009, 3:41 PM
Beacuase they are just looking you arrogant overbearing know it all. If they want your opinion on something they'll ask. Maybe they don't need a pushy desperate salesperson in their face to shop?
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bobrings

Apr 2, 2010, 2:59 PM
🤣
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Coil

Oct 17, 2009, 3:48 PM
CinBellguy12 said:
no more than reps? I do this for living take my adivce.


no=know

I suggest an elementary school education.

When it comes to talking to people yeah they just want to look so you have to figure out a way to make them start talking other than 'did you have any questioins about what I'm payed to sell nag nag nag'
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Coil

Oct 17, 2009, 3:41 PM
I want to make sure my wife never finds out about it.
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CinBellguy12

Oct 17, 2009, 3:49 PM
To add to that:
Cust: can you make sure I do not get a detialed bill, my wife likes to spy on me.


Me: Do you have something to hide?

Cust has no answer but just please no deatled bill.

Me is that guy taking photos of you?
Cust: where?
Me sorry I do not see him anymore.

Cust gets really nervious and asks me to hurry and of courese i do not. by the way there was no one there ever just felt the urge to mess with his head.
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Coil

Oct 17, 2009, 3:49 PM
My wife is a fat beast. God I can't stand her.
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Drunk

Oct 17, 2009, 3:53 PM
Pee paid?
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ZadenWillowfyre

Oct 23, 2009, 12:46 PM
LOL! That's hilarious.

Rep: "We have bar phones, slider phones, and flip phones. Which would you prefer?"
Cust: "Bar slider"

never fails....oye.
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Menno

Oct 23, 2009, 2:49 PM
Had a customer come in wanting to update her son's phone because he broke it, they had the phone for under 4 months so when I told her it would be retail to replace the device, she said she was cancelling and going to ATT.

I informed her about the early terms and she responded:

"Verizon will waive those because I'm a VIP"
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Drunk

Oct 23, 2009, 4:09 PM
Mother mother mother!

Big red and a verizon deal to boot! ha ha adkfjakldfjadfka
yes but not without smashing drums in the quake 😁
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wizardofCroz

Oct 23, 2009, 4:21 PM
"I can't get any teckses"

Or in big people words:

I can't recieve texts
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burntbridges

Apr 3, 2010, 3:56 PM
Hahha, "big people words!"
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menoch

Mar 28, 2010, 6:08 PM
Ever heard this one?
"ATT f*cked me in the @ss!! You are f*cking me in the @ss you b1tch!! Unlock my iPhone! Unlock it!"
I couldn't stop laughing!!
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wompwomp

Mar 28, 2010, 6:17 PM
I've heard "you're raping your customers!" and I was like oh...
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menoch

Mar 28, 2010, 7:27 PM
All the time!!
We don't even use lube.
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kendrat

Mar 31, 2010, 5:27 PM
🤣
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retrocool

Mar 29, 2010, 12:52 PM
Was that customer's name Walter Sobchak, by chance?
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menoch

Apr 3, 2010, 3:08 PM
I don't remember the name. I know it was a guy and he didn't speak English very well. It was so funny for him to say that in his odd little accent!
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IrishCarBomb

Mar 29, 2010, 4:27 PM
"Clickity clack spickity spack mumbo jumbo! I have cursed you for the rest of eternity you evil bastard!"
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burntbridges

Mar 29, 2010, 7:17 PM
"What do you mean a travel charger? I don't travel!"
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NEPats726420

Mar 30, 2010, 11:39 AM
🤣
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NEPats726420

Mar 30, 2010, 11:39 AM
home charger lol
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freephones4all

Mar 30, 2010, 5:20 PM
This one was not mine. But I like it.."I was so misuninformed about this phone"
The customer was complaining that the phone was running slow after she downloaded 125 apps 😳
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