I just said the 4 letter word for poo on a call
"Your phone isn't working because it's a piece of ****."
"You're a piece of ****."
"I have to ****."
"I wish I could ****."
Me: "Just send that **** to us so we can process your order..."
Cust: Excuse me?
Me:Ma'am, please be more than kind and fax us a copy of that sheet of paper they gave you so we can proceed and complete your order.
Cust: ... Ok