Shop Talk
one liners
may i have your wireless number?
"it was a samsung"
do you know the make and model of the phone?
"its a motorola nokia. no, its the samsung razr strobe."
what is your relationship to the account holder?
"datz ma baby daddy."
may i have the date the incident occured?
"i bought it in june."
whats the make and model of the phone you're calling about?
"metro pcs."
may i have the best daytime or evening number where you can be reached at?
"anytime."
"it was a samsung"
do you know the make and model of the phone?
"its a motorola nokia. no, its the samsung razr strobe."
what is your relationship to the account holder?
"datz ma baby daddy."
may i have the date the incident occured?
"i bought it in june."
whats the make and model of the phone you're calling about?
"metro pcs."
may i have the best daytime or evening number where you can be reached at?
"anytime."
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may i have the make and model of the phone?
"its the flip phone with the screen on the outside part."
do you have an email address?
"yea its 123 blahblahblah street."
"its the flip phone with the screen on the outside part."
do you have an email address?
"yea its 123 blahblahblah street."
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lol i love it. the worst part is that everything i wrote was stuff people actually said to me today... 😲
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Is there anything else I can help you with today?
"Yes" (customer walks out)
.....? 🤨
"Yes" (customer walks out)
.....? 🤨
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wow well i have not seena single custy today so nothing new to make fun of.. but i do remember the time... the memories
M
C
M- welcome to bla bla bla how can i help you today.
C- I need a phone!
M- ok.. What kind of phone are you interested in? we got a wide solection
C- I want a camera phone.
M- Ok what about so and so.
In any case he ends up picking a phone with a out a camera and he knew it cause we have a display of camera phones and none. And there marked.
He comes in the next day bitch and complaining that he tryed takeing a picture.. Im like hu?? 🤨 He pointed to the Big speaker on the phone and said see its a camera phone and it wont take pictures. Im like sure thats the speaker.. he walks out mad and th...
(continues)
M
C
M- welcome to bla bla bla how can i help you today.
C- I need a phone!
M- ok.. What kind of phone are you interested in? we got a wide solection
C- I want a camera phone.
M- Ok what about so and so.
In any case he ends up picking a phone with a out a camera and he knew it cause we have a display of camera phones and none. And there marked.
He comes in the next day bitch and complaining that he tryed takeing a picture.. Im like hu?? 🤨 He pointed to the Big speaker on the phone and said see its a camera phone and it wont take pictures. Im like sure thats the speaker.. he walks out mad and th...
(continues)
...
This happend to me one time while dealing with an American Ex pat here in the UK.
Me: What Networks sim card is in the phone
Custy: *Hands me a CDMA phone*
Me: Sir this is VZW phone and wont work in the UK.
Custy: Yah huh it will my brothers uncle, fathers, sister, son in law car salesman said it would.
Me: Nope its impossible you need to buy a new phone
Custy: *Slams phone down* Your a lier!
*Custy storms away almost knocking down a person in the hall*
Some days I hate my dam job. A frecken Pre Paid phone is only 20 pounds yet some people still want something for nothing.
Me: What Networks sim card is in the phone
Custy: *Hands me a CDMA phone*
Me: Sir this is VZW phone and wont work in the UK.
Custy: Yah huh it will my brothers uncle, fathers, sister, son in law car salesman said it would.
Me: Nope its impossible you need to buy a new phone
Custy: *Slams phone down* Your a lier!
*Custy storms away almost knocking down a person in the hall*
Some days I hate my dam job. A frecken Pre Paid phone is only 20 pounds yet some people still want something for nothing.
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Nadesico81 said:
This happend to me one time while dealing with an American Ex pat here in the UK.
Me: What Networks sim card is in the phone
Custy: *Hands me a CDMA phone*
Me: Sir this is VZW phone and wont work in the UK.
Custy: Yah huh it will my brothers uncle, fathers, sister, son in law car salesman said it would.
Me: Nope its impossible you need to buy a new phone
Custy: *Slams phone down* Your a lier!
*Custy storms away almost knocking down a person in the hall*
Some days I hate my dam job. A frecken Pre Paid phone is only 20 pounds, yet some people still want something for nothing.
No wonder he's upset, a 20 pound phone? Who would want to lug around that thing a...
(continues)
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Yeah you didn't get the joke! Why are you like that? Do we even know why you are like that? Oh and Jackson is gross, his picture hurts my eyes please change it.
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Custy - Have you been drinking?! Are you drunk?!
Me- *BELCH* ...Shaddup and gimme your pincode.
Me- *BELCH* ...Shaddup and gimme your pincode.
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lmfao I guess now adays the way to get a sale is to act like the custy 🤣
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Now we're going to do something extremely fun. It's called who is your daddy, and what does he do? 🙂
NOW SHUTUP!!!
NOW SHUTUP!!!
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"All is full of love... all is full of love"
Bjork
I do love you, you said words that make me happy.
Bjork
I do love you, you said words that make me happy.
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I was on the phone with tech support while reading this and I literally lol'ed.
I can so see a lot of our customers saying this in my store.
I can so see a lot of our customers saying this in my store.
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OMG! Loved all of them, and so true. People do not pay attention.
Here's mine today from some over 60+ ladies looking at a netbook (I already see you rolling your eyes). None of them knows anything about computers.
Me - The monthly plan when combined with a cell. phone is $60 with a 5GB limit.
L1 - So what hes saying is that you get it put with your cell. phone
L2(looks back at me and says) - so what your saying is that its $30 more per month.
WHAT!! Who said 30, not me and not the lady who thought it was a LED 10.1 and had no idea what that sticker was. (10.1" LCD screen). The whole conversation was disturbing. I didn't want to be present.
Here's mine today from some over 60+ ladies looking at a netbook (I already see you rolling your eyes). None of them knows anything about computers.
Me - The monthly plan when combined with a cell. phone is $60 with a 5GB limit.
L1 - So what hes saying is that you get it put with your cell. phone
L2(looks back at me and says) - so what your saying is that its $30 more per month.
WHAT!! Who said 30, not me and not the lady who thought it was a LED 10.1 and had no idea what that sticker was. (10.1" LCD screen). The whole conversation was disturbing. I didn't want to be present.
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me: what is you telephone number?
cust: 333-444-9999
me: (types in number) I'm not getting any records?
cust: (wide eyed) Thats my number!
me: Is that your cell phone number?
cust: No, its my house number.
me: (what I wish I said) Do I look like I work at a F**k**g land line company? Did you come in here because you want to do something to your home phone like fix reception or upgrade!!
me: (what I do say) Oh I'm sorry. No I need you cell phone number. May I have that Cell number please?
-------Who doesn't get that a million times a day? And it does happen because I'm in a retirement community that should be cell phone blocked (period).
cust: 333-444-9999
me: (types in number) I'm not getting any records?
cust: (wide eyed) Thats my number!
me: Is that your cell phone number?
cust: No, its my house number.
me: (what I wish I said) Do I look like I work at a F**k**g land line company? Did you come in here because you want to do something to your home phone like fix reception or upgrade!!
me: (what I do say) Oh I'm sorry. No I need you cell phone number. May I have that Cell number please?
-------Who doesn't get that a million times a day? And it does happen because I'm in a retirement community that should be cell phone blocked (period).
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Love those... Also you gotta love when they go:
-I need my phone, it is my only means of teleportation.
or
-I need my phone NOW!!!
(As my peer would put it. "Sir; turn around"
-Your phone is scheduled to be delivered tomorrow via UPS... blah, blah... starting with the zipcode may I have the address where you'd like your phone shipped to?
-Its 123 W 65 St.
or
-Its in the corner of Whatever St... (silence)
After painfully getting that address you are asked these questions.
-When will I get the phone?
-What time will I get the phone?
-Where are you sending it to?
-Who's delivering my phone?
I'm sure there is more... just got my first call of the day and it was priceless.
-I need my phone, it is my only means of teleportation.
or
-I need my phone NOW!!!
(As my peer would put it. "Sir; turn around"
-Your phone is scheduled to be delivered tomorrow via UPS... blah, blah... starting with the zipcode may I have the address where you'd like your phone shipped to?
-Its 123 W 65 St.
or
-Its in the corner of Whatever St... (silence)
After painfully getting that address you are asked these questions.
-When will I get the phone?
-What time will I get the phone?
-Where are you sending it to?
-Who's delivering my phone?
I'm sure there is more... just got my first call of the day and it was priceless.
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Rep: Good morning and welcome Verizon Wireless, how may I assist you today?
Custy: Yes, I am having problems with my iPhone... 😳
In fact, there was a VZW rep on here who had a 30 minute heated argument with an iPhone customer trying to convince him that VZW is not AT&T and that they don't carry the iPhone.
Custy: Yes, I am having problems with my iPhone... 😳
In fact, there was a VZW rep on here who had a 30 minute heated argument with an iPhone customer trying to convince him that VZW is not AT&T and that they don't carry the iPhone.
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Who cares, all you are is NokiaGoth and you do this all the time
👿
we know we know...
👿
we know we know...
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Drunk said:
Wait, who are you? What the H did ay just say?
Tuben verbals are only useful if you know how to tweak the qantomarble function located in the fusil lodge of the verbalidge.
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is there any physical damage on the phone or has it ever been dropped?
"no never it just broke in half."
do you have an email address where we can contact you regarding your claim?
"yes."
may i have the wireless number you are calling about?
"i don't even know that my phone was stolen."
may i have your first and last name?
"melissa."
"no never it just broke in half."
do you have an email address where we can contact you regarding your claim?
"yes."
may i have the wireless number you are calling about?
"i don't even know that my phone was stolen."
may i have your first and last name?
"melissa."
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I agree. and for some reason the answer to that last question is always "meliss". who the hell is she and why does she torment us so!
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Rep: can i have your mobile number with the area code first?
Custy: fa fa fo na na fa fa fo fo na
Custy: fa fa fo na na fa fa fo fo na
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it wont let me call from my cell phone.. and i cant use the work phone for long distance... ☹️
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