Shop Talk
Laws of Customers
Here's mine. Feel free to add to the list:
1. 100% of people lie. 100% of customers are people.
2. Customers are incapable of reading...anything.
3. If a we dont carry a phone anymore or its with another company, they want it.
4. Customers will not listen to whatever answer you just gave them for their question.
5. A customer is NOT entitled to a new phone every 6 months...free. (see Law 1)
6. There are no well-mannered children that will enter your location.
7. The worse they smell, the longer they linger.
8. A customer will not let you know they are wasting your time until its too late.
9.If its an impossibility to preform a service, someone at your location "does it all the time for me".
10. They always saw i...
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1. 100% of people lie. 100% of customers are people.
2. Customers are incapable of reading...anything.
3. If a we dont carry a phone anymore or its with another company, they want it.
4. Customers will not listen to whatever answer you just gave them for their question.
5. A customer is NOT entitled to a new phone every 6 months...free. (see Law 1)
6. There are no well-mannered children that will enter your location.
7. The worse they smell, the longer they linger.
8. A customer will not let you know they are wasting your time until its too late.
9.If its an impossibility to preform a service, someone at your location "does it all the time for me".
10. They always saw i...
(continues)
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11: No matter how many phones you offer, they always want one that you never bothered ordering.
12: The customers who get all the extras, high end plans, ALWAYS get their phones at a different location but then come to you because "they like you better."
13: They think that using the "economy" as an excuse for #12 is a valid reason.
14: Contrary to popular belief, we won't discount your plan because a regional carrier offers lower rates and next to no service.
15: Complaining to a rep will not stop your daughter from going over the text messaging package you grudgingly bought for her and it will NOT lower your bill.
16: Just because the register is down doesn't mean you "get it for free."
17: Saying #16 is not funny ...
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12: The customers who get all the extras, high end plans, ALWAYS get their phones at a different location but then come to you because "they like you better."
13: They think that using the "economy" as an excuse for #12 is a valid reason.
14: Contrary to popular belief, we won't discount your plan because a regional carrier offers lower rates and next to no service.
15: Complaining to a rep will not stop your daughter from going over the text messaging package you grudgingly bought for her and it will NOT lower your bill.
16: Just because the register is down doesn't mean you "get it for free."
17: Saying #16 is not funny ...
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11. The customer will always insist that customer service said they could come in and get that free BB Storm.
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21. The person in your store or on your call is not the account holder...or authorized.
22. No matter how you qualify them, they want the phone they saw on the tv last night.
23. Even if you pour water out of the phone "it never got wet"
22. No matter how you qualify them, they want the phone they saw on the tv last night.
23. Even if you pour water out of the phone "it never got wet"
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24. "I never call myself" is neither funny nor a good reason not to know your own number
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11. The person in your store or on your call is not the account holder...or authorized.
12. No matter how you qualify them, they want the phone they saw on the tv last night.
13. Even if you pour water out of the phone "it never got wet"
12. No matter how you qualify them, they want the phone they saw on the tv last night.
13. Even if you pour water out of the phone "it never got wet"
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14. The guy at the other store said he could get the Blackberry for free with a free car charger, free case, free bluetooth, no activation, and no contract, so I should be able to pricematch it. (Why didn't he get it there then?)
15. Customers are always eligible for the full discount, even if they bought a phone last month.
16. Full Discount = Free Phone
17. Any Phone = Free Phone, no matter what the price tag says.
18. Customers are entitled to more discounts because they are "Good" Customers.
19. All Customers have been "Loyal" customers that have had 5 lines, that they pay $400 a month for, with our company since it started. (Apparently 5 lines = 1 line, $400 = $40, and our company has only been around 4 months)
20. Cu...
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15. Customers are always eligible for the full discount, even if they bought a phone last month.
16. Full Discount = Free Phone
17. Any Phone = Free Phone, no matter what the price tag says.
18. Customers are entitled to more discounts because they are "Good" Customers.
19. All Customers have been "Loyal" customers that have had 5 lines, that they pay $400 a month for, with our company since it started. (Apparently 5 lines = 1 line, $400 = $40, and our company has only been around 4 months)
20. Cu...
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31. Our systems must be faulty if your check isn't accepted or your credit card is declined.
32. Since the other store never checks your ID when they are supposed to, we shouldn't have to either.
32. Since the other store never checks your ID when they are supposed to, we shouldn't have to either.
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33. "But my friend did it here last week!"
34. In-store reps must apply Mail-in rebates to the price of the phone if they want your business.
34. In-store reps must apply Mail-in rebates to the price of the phone if they want your business.
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35. Customers are never in possession of a lost or stolen phone...they were "given it by a friend"
36. No deposit is ever right. Customers have perfect credit.
36. No deposit is ever right. Customers have perfect credit.
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37. Warranty department said they could drop the phone off and get another one in store, even though our policy is exchange by mail.
38. They would rather pay 50.00 for a new battery than sign a contract to get a new phone, even though "they've been with us forever"
38. They would rather pay 50.00 for a new battery than sign a contract to get a new phone, even though "they've been with us forever"
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39. Well that ain't the price the TV gave me. I want you to honor what the TV said.
40. Day before you quoted me all the accessories included (we bundle price our phones ) why if your matching the TV price aren't you giving me a case, car charger and screen protectors.
40. Day before you quoted me all the accessories included (we bundle price our phones ) why if your matching the TV price aren't you giving me a case, car charger and screen protectors.
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37. customer always want the "best phone" oh wait customer .... you mean "the best free phone".....
hahahahaha
hahahahaha
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37. Just because the store rep is female, it automatically means they are stupid, know nothing, and apparently have to waive all fees to "make up for their stupidity and for wasting the customer's time."
38. Why should I care about tracking in 3lbs of mud on the carpet? "The employees have to clean it anyways!"
39. The price AFTER REBATE "should be the price 'in store' just because I didn't see the words "price after $50 mail in rebate" under the price.
40. "Your supervisor will fire you if I tell them to - I am the customer and I get everything I want because your company NEEDS my business!"
38. Why should I care about tracking in 3lbs of mud on the carpet? "The employees have to clean it anyways!"
39. The price AFTER REBATE "should be the price 'in store' just because I didn't see the words "price after $50 mail in rebate" under the price.
40. "Your supervisor will fire you if I tell them to - I am the customer and I get everything I want because your company NEEDS my business!"
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Handicapped parking is for handicapped and people that just want to pay their bills.
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#68: The customer always runs a business off their broken 5 year old phone, and are loosing tens of thousands of dollars right now because of the broken 5 year old phone, so we must replace it or fix it for free.
#69: There are always crazy nude pictures on the phone when you have to blue tooth troubleshoot a phone. And if it is a 16 year old girl, you have to do it in front of her father.
#69: There are always crazy nude pictures on the phone when you have to blue tooth troubleshoot a phone. And if it is a 16 year old girl, you have to do it in front of her father.
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