Shop Talk
third one today...
C: I'd like to pay my bill.
M: Ok how much did you want to put on the account?
C: What's my total due?
M: 🤨 I don't know. You haven't given me any account information to go off of.
C: huh? what do you mean
M: 😳 👀
Ok dumba$ses, my nametag does not read Carnac the magnificent or anything like that. but yes, my time allowances, account access capabilities and memory capacity are so great that I have every account balance and face that has an account with our carrier memorized so that as soon as you walk up and tell me that you need to pay your bill I have already seen you coming and have your account pulled up and all I have to do is click on submit payment and take your money from you.
😁
have...
(continues)
M: Ok how much did you want to put on the account?
C: What's my total due?
M: 🤨 I don't know. You haven't given me any account information to go off of.
C: huh? what do you mean
M: 😳 👀
Ok dumba$ses, my nametag does not read Carnac the magnificent or anything like that. but yes, my time allowances, account access capabilities and memory capacity are so great that I have every account balance and face that has an account with our carrier memorized so that as soon as you walk up and tell me that you need to pay your bill I have already seen you coming and have your account pulled up and all I have to do is click on submit payment and take your money from you.
😁
have...
(continues)
...
i get this on a hourly basis.... and then they dont know their phone numbers, and i have to look it up in their phones
...
that's the best, isn't it
Custy: how much do i owe?
me: lemme look it up, wut's yer phone number?
Custy: i don't kno
me: 🤨
custy: well i never call myself
me: 😳
Custy: how much do i owe?
me: lemme look it up, wut's yer phone number?
Custy: i don't kno
me: 🤨
custy: well i never call myself
me: 😳
...
That one gets rather old. You don't send mail to yourself but you know your address!
...
I hate when they say that line about not calling themselves. Are you freaking serious? You don't you give the number out? Or are you that much of a loser that no-one calls you?
...
...When you asked the customer how much he wanted to pay instead of asking for his # first, you were just asking for that to happen....
So many frustrating situations can be avoided with customers if you just word things differently.
So many frustrating situations can be avoided with customers if you just word things differently.
...
m-me
c-custie
c-i'd like to pay a bill
m-sure home or cell
c-cellphone
m-ok can i get that number also is that prepaid or are you on a contract, and just to let you know i can only proccess cash payments.
c-fine.
i proccess everything and then she hands me a debit card ( for some reason i think i already posted this but it still rings in my head every time i see some one with a credit card or brings up bill payments )
m-sorry i can only take cash payments.
c- this is cash!
i actually had to explain the difference between cash and debit tried to help her pay over the phone with the debit card and got screamed and and threatened to be reported to my manager, i told him bout it about an hour later when he got back ...
(continues)
c-custie
c-i'd like to pay a bill
m-sure home or cell
c-cellphone
m-ok can i get that number also is that prepaid or are you on a contract, and just to let you know i can only proccess cash payments.
c-fine.
i proccess everything and then she hands me a debit card ( for some reason i think i already posted this but it still rings in my head every time i see some one with a credit card or brings up bill payments )
m-sorry i can only take cash payments.
c- this is cash!
i actually had to explain the difference between cash and debit tried to help her pay over the phone with the debit card and got screamed and and threatened to be reported to my manager, i told him bout it about an hour later when he got back ...
(continues)
...
I agree, some people you have to word things very specifically.
This is kinda off but I love when people come in like how much is my bill? why is it so high? and when you ask them do they know their plan and when they say no there's your answer. You don't know why your bill is so high because you don't take the time to look at your bill.
Honestly, if you don't read the bill do the earth a favor and stop the paper bills from being sent out. Bills aren't sent out so the mailman knows your cell carrier.
This is kinda off but I love when people come in like how much is my bill? why is it so high? and when you ask them do they know their plan and when they say no there's your answer. You don't know why your bill is so high because you don't take the time to look at your bill.
Honestly, if you don't read the bill do the earth a favor and stop the paper bills from being sent out. Bills aren't sent out so the mailman knows your cell carrier.
...
Since i work in a call center i get it every day but i typically stem that sort of stupidity away right off
Me: what is the wireless number you are calling about sir?
Cust: I want to talk about my bill.
Me: Thats fine but i wont be able to help you until i open your account, your wireless number please 🙂
Cust: can you tell me why your bill is so high?
Me: your wireless number please.
Usualy the customer understands that i could care less about there problem until i am in there account by then...Or they hang up, either way i win.
Me: what is the wireless number you are calling about sir?
Cust: I want to talk about my bill.
Me: Thats fine but i wont be able to help you until i open your account, your wireless number please 🙂
Cust: can you tell me why your bill is so high?
Me: your wireless number please.
Usualy the customer understands that i could care less about there problem until i am in there account by then...Or they hang up, either way i win.
...
I work at a 3p dealer, and we use precash, so his number wouldn't halp me much at all
...
More often I get:
"Hi, I want to pay my bill. It's under (insert random name here)."
Um, yeah. I hate to break this to you, I know you're parents said you're special (and on some levels you definitely are), but your name is not. I need a phone number, your mobile phone number, the one that comes with a bill with our logo on it.
Another favorite of mine:
Custy- "My phone isn't working."
Me- "Okay, what is *your* mobile phone number?
Custy- "it's under/the main line is..."
(insert head desk smiley)
Me- I need the number of the one not working properly. (I'd say, "the number of the one with the issue," but I think the smarter ones may see the double entendre.)
🤣
"Hi, I want to pay my bill. It's under (insert random name here)."
Um, yeah. I hate to break this to you, I know you're parents said you're special (and on some levels you definitely are), but your name is not. I need a phone number, your mobile phone number, the one that comes with a bill with our logo on it.
Another favorite of mine:
Custy- "My phone isn't working."
Me- "Okay, what is *your* mobile phone number?
Custy- "it's under/the main line is..."
(insert head desk smiley)
Me- I need the number of the one not working properly. (I'd say, "the number of the one with the issue," but I think the smarter ones may see the double entendre.)
🤣
...
