Dear John... or should I say dear verizon
Verizon: Are you breaking up with me?
Me: Yes Verizon I am!
Verizon: Why? Don't you love me any more?
Me: Where to start Verizon? I have been with you for a long time. And yes I will cherish the few good times we have had over the past 7 years, I just can't stand you anymore. You are always messing up my bill and charging me more than you should be.
Verizon: How can you leave me? I have the best service. My network is awesome. Haven't you seen my cool ad's on TV.? I made all of those for you!
Me: Yes Verizon you have a very sharp wit, but I am sick of you selling me poopy phones, and charging me obscene amounts for what you call the best service ever. And I feel like I have to be honest with you. Y...
THERE'S A MAP FOR THAT!