chapter 6, verse 12:

and lo the pockets of christs robe glowed with a holy light and sound eminated from his body, and all who heard it covered their ears in fear and horror, for it was the sound of nokia. jesus raised the device from his pocket and placed it by his head.

verse 13:

and christ spoke: "yo. yeah...WHAT!? you're telling me i got to feed how many people at this party? all i got at the crib is some fish and bread, little bit of water. alright, i'll see if i can stretch it. see you there. peace out."

verse 14:

and the throngs kneeled by his feet and called to him begging for salvation, and jesus told them to follow, for there was a party at his pad.