In a surprise move that has simply taken the theological world by storm, it seems as though Pope Ratzinger and his college of cardinals have decided to ratify the canon. The word "Satan", which most theologians define as adversary or defiler is to be removed from all scripture.

His Emminency had this to say, "Due to the scrolls that have recently been unearthed and studied in Mesopotamia, the more accurate translation should be Tracfone. We feel that Tracfone conveys the sheer terror, demonic intent, and antagonism of the original scripture."

Anthropologist, Ned B Kanezzer, was quick to add, "We have yet to see how far this will extend into the Judeo-Christian and even Commercial cultures. Will the Tracfone replace the pop image of the devil in todays media? Will there be an angel on one shoulder telling you the right and a Tracfone on the other guiding you in the wrong? The answer is simply, 'I don't know.'"

Who knows. If any problems arise, maybe we'll here the church saying, "Tracfone made me do it."